Tag Archives: Pregnancy

Pregnancy Rituals That Honour Women & Build Community: A Meaningful Alternative to Baby Showers

Pregnancy is one of the most significant transitions in our life, and one that unlike the menarche is still widely celebrated in Western society. It is of course the magical time when a woman grows a tiny human while battling heartburn, swollen feet, and unsolicited belly rubs from strangers, because lets face it, who needs autonomy right?! The way the world is moving, it’s scary! As we move further and further into a time where white supremacy is clinging on and throwing a party for everyone to see, I’m sat at my desk thinking about baby showers, pregnancy and how we’ve (in masses) lost the meaning of rituals at this sacred time. I want to pause, and take a minute to appreciate the pregnancy rituals that actually honor women and foster a sense of community—no smoke bombs or giant pink and blue cakes required.

Traditional Pregnancy Rituals, from around the world

Across cultures worldwide, far beyond my desk in Helensbrugh, babies are born, people live and die and the world keeps spinning. Pregnancy has long been celebrated with rituals focused on nurturing and supporting the mother, rather than just planning the perfect Instagram moment. These traditions emphasize connection, wisdom-sharing, and, dare I say, actual real life support. I think it’s important to say though, there’s a difference between being inspired by these traditions and being appropriative of them, so definitely consider that before you just grab one off the shelf kind of thing.

Here are a few beautiful examples:

Blessingway (Navajo Tradition)

Unlike a baby shower (which is often just a lot of baby grows presents and weird games ), the Blessingway is a sacred Navajo ceremony centered around the mother. Women in her circle gather to offer blessings, share stories, and quite literally wrap her in love and encouragement. Sometimes, they create a beaded necklace, each bead symbolizing a wish for her journey ahead. No awkward “guess the baby food” games—just pure community.

Seemantham (South Indian Ritual)

In South India, Seemantham is a celebration that again focuses on the mother’s well-being. Family members recite prayers, offer gifts meant to bring prosperity, and pamper the mum-to-be with traditional music and massages. It is a pregnancy pause, to honour the work she is doing growing her baby and about making sure she feels cherished and held towards those last few weeks – It’s not about blue or pink balloons!

Arvigo Mayan Abdominal Massage (Mayan Tradition)

This beautiful tradition is not a single event, but rather something that has been passed down through generations to support fertility, pregnancy, and postpartum recovery. It is a practice where women gather to perform gentle abdominal massages, believed to promote a healthy pregnancy and ease labor. Talk about ancestral strengths – I love this.

Pregnancy Cradling (Ghana, Akan Tribe)

In certain Ghanaian traditions (and this holds a soft spot for me because my mum was born in Ghana) a pregnant woman is surrounded by elder women who cradle her belly and chant blessings. This is meant to ensure the safe arrival of the baby and provide emotional and spiritual support. Can you imagine the power of this, as opposed to a tea party or similar where mum-to-be is shattered and overwhelmed in both love and stuff!

There are more, but you get the point. None of these traditions are about ‘stuff’ or performance. They are about community, village, support, all things that are essential in our life and parenting, and yet things that we are deprived off in the society we live in.

These rituals and community make a difference. They start our mothering journey off in a space of sacredness and wisdom; when the wise women gather in love and joy to celebrate, it is a passing down of power and magick. Yes it sounds witchy, because it is! It so beautifully is.

I’m running pregnancy yoga classes now in Helensburgh and this is what I want to share with the gorgeous mamas coming to stretch and connect with their babies; the rituals and relationships we forge that sustain us are so much more essential that capitalist systems want us to believe. I haven’t decided if I will yet, but I’m feeling really drawn to doing a ceremony at the end of this block of classes. Inspired by, but not imitating the traditions from around the world, I’d make my own mothers blessing ceremony, because though yes the wisdom is celebrated in different ways, ultimately there is an innate wisdom within all of us. Our ancestors birthed us, and we birth the future. We are the ancestors of our great great grandchildren, and honouring that feels incredibly special.

That’s it for tonight, thanks so much for reading,

with love, Rohana x

The Healing Power of Postpartum Rest in Traditional Chinese Medicine

When I first learned about how in Chinese medicine birth is seen as a depleting life event, it felt contradictory to everything I’d ever read birth was “supposed” to be.

Surely having a baby was a rich, life giving event that left you full and feeling blessed and whole right? But no, in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) birth is an event that requires a lot of jing, and depletes the qi and blood within the body. It puts pressure on the kidneys and takes the warmth out of a woman’s body, so where she was full of the  warmth of an extra life, with extra blood and vital energy through her pregnancy, the energy is used in labour and by the time baby is earthside, her body is emptier and depleted. Essentially what I learned was, yes having a baby is a beautiful life event, and it requires massive amounts of life force energy. Both things can be simultaneously true.

By this point I’d had 3 babies already, and I hadn’t respected the sacredness of postpartum any of those times. In fact, with my 2nd, I was up and out in the Scottish December cold just 3 days after she was born. With my summer babies, I didn’t rest either, and I indulged in ice creams and cold drinks, not understanding the impact letting more cold into my body would have.

From this experience then, and from work with women in the past few years, I have really leaned into the wisdom of traditional Chinese medicine, and deeply respect the many cultures that prioritise a rest period postpartum, where women can rest, rebuild their stores of warmth and qi, and honour their recovery from birth while bonding with their babies.

In Chinese Medicine, there is a 40 day period of recovery. These 40 days are essential for warmth, healing, and vitality, and the wisdom of it says that if a woman lets cold into her body, through food or exposure, in these first 40 days, the result will likely be an impact (negatively) on her mental health down the line. Of course, postpartum depression, anxiety and other mental health struggles are not solely related to the first 40 days, and we can absolutely see there are elements of privilege and resources that impact families too, but the idea that we could radically influence that first year within the first 40 days is fascinating to me.

Learning this revolutionised the way I taught postpartum doula-ing, it changed the way I would offer support postpartum, and when it came to having my 4th baby, it radically impacted the way I planned my own resting period.

I didn’t manage 40 days indoors – I’ve got 3 older kids so that was always going to be stretch; but I did give myself 12. I prepped warm foods, accepted food from friends, asked my mum to come visit and mother me in my own newness again, and strictly stayed away from cold foods, drinks, and winds. It wasn’t perfect, but it was my own adapted honouring of the learnings TCM has given me.

You know that saying, if its worth doing, it’s worth half arsing? Or done is better than prefect? This was my approach. I knew following the teachings of TCM would be beneficial, and whether that was doing it at 90% or doing it at 15%, I would gain warmth and energy to keep up with my older kiddos in the long run.

7 months later, I can see and feel the gift of those slow weeks, and it influences the way I show up even more to support others. Prepping for postpartum with a lens of ancient traditions is something I think more families should have access to. A slow, warm, hygge filled postpartum, with nourishing foods and a support bubble that shows up for you, with no need to mask or entertain or host them, is what I wish I could give every new mother no-matter how many children she has. It is through this rest and healing that we start parenting not in burnout or depleted and traumatised, but full of life and feeling supported. Imagine a whole generation raised by families who aren’t in their survival responses – what a change that will make on the world! This is the impact of TCM (and other ancient wisdoms)… if we learn and listen.

With love, thanks for reading,

Rohana x

Where You Birth Matters

The way a baby is born impacts them on some level for their whole life.

The way they are born. The people around them. The environment they enter this world into.

Baby’s born into war carry that, (if they survive) into the life they live and it physically alters the DNA of their decendants. This has been heavily weighing on my mind this week, as we watch the events in the middle East unfold- with little to no voice given to the reality birthing women and babies are facing.

Baby’s born into immense privilege carry it too… though not always in the ways we might assume. Privilege often equates to a certain amount of resources over and above others. In the birth world, it’s a little more nuanced than that.

Assuming that you’re birthing outside of a war zone then; what impact does the environment of birth really have? It matters deeply, not just for babies but for mothers and partners too.

We cannot prepare for the future without embracing the meaning and the relevance of the baby’s perspective on life.

-Michel Odent

We know that mothers birthing in supported environments where they feel safe and nurtured pass this information on to their babies. The same is true for mothers who birth in conditions of big T and little t trauma. From hospitals to birthing centers to home births, the space you birth will shape everything from the medical interventions used to the emotional atmosphere surrounding your birth. After numerous conversations about why thinking about this as early on as possible matters, I thought I’d write a little on it.

Choosing where to give birth is a deeply personal decision. The assumption that everyone has the information and resources to choose the way they want is one I just cannot make. Socio-economic factors come into play, race, ethnicity and culture too. In the UK (at least at the time of writing in 2024), you can legally choose where you birth, and that choice can absolutely impact the way your birth story plays out.

Ultimately, its your choice, so get informed! There are far too many women told they can only birth in hospital when truly they do have other options. Equally, if the idea of birthing anywhere outside a hospital gives you shudders, then planning that ahead matters.

I want to preface the next few passages by highlighting that ultimately I believe every single baby comes earthside in the way they need to, with their unique birth resourcing them in various ways. 

What are your options?

Hospital, Birth Centre, Home. I won’t chat freebirth, that’s for another day.

Hospitals are the high tech options, sold to us as high safety, but also the space where the highest levels of birth trauma exist. Hopstials are supposed to be safe – and when they work, they are a blessing. More and more though, especially for women who have no or low ‘risk’ factors the hosptial birth story isn’t a happy one.

Hospitals represent the standard choice for childbirth, they are normalised in the media we consume right from childhood, and other spaces are considered ‘alternative’ or even a little radical. There are an array of medical interventions and expertise available, with health care professionals and a full range of technology on hand to monitor baby and mother throughout labour. There’s access to all sorts of interventions and pain relief options, and of course surgery.

While a cesarean birth can be lifesaving; for many of us in the birth world, we can see that it is the interventions prior that snowballed a healthy birth into an emergency. The conveyor belt system of induction and cesarean births is all a bit too neatly boxed up; and it takes away from the rite of passage birth physiologically is.

Hospital births are often a ticket to the trauma train because procedure trumps real life experience, and women are often gaslit, ignored, or violated. Circling back to babies, this also means babies are being ignored, assaulted and sent the information that the world is scary and unsafe.

Birth is nearly never an emergency, but sometimes it is. If you need to prioritise safety with medical resources, then a hospital birth is a blessing.

If you don’t… Read on.

A birth centre/midwife unit:

Birth centres are often described as kind of like the middle ground between hospital and home. They’re quieter, often offer a pool, can have the lights dimmed and try to be as warm and cosy as possible. Most birth centers will try to encourage birth to be as intervention free as possible, and I’ve heard of some beautiful birth stories with supportive staff in them.

However, with the ever increasing agenda to streamline birth (and yes this is the agenda), more birth centres are being closed or told they can’t operate fully because of staffing levels. Midwife units cannot support birthing women if they aren’t supported themselves; which means being able to access these is getting harder. Added to this is the fact most of them are for babies being born physiologically with little / no risk, and will turn away women who don’t their box.

This isn’t without reason, birth centres aren’t equipped to navigate emergencies or complications, and so err on the slide of caution. Birth centres can be some of the most beautiful, supportive and nurturing spaces, and midwives often go above and beyond to make them so… but they need to be given the resources for that to happen.

Home births:

For a healthy woman, the first intervention in birth and labour is leaving home. This is something I learned only after my 2nd child, and having had both hospital and home births myself, it is something I wholly believe to be true. As a woman, I know my homebirths were far more positive than my hospital ones, and I only got here through research and experience.

As a doula who wholeheartedly supports informed choices, I will never tell a potential client where to birth, but I will absolutely encourage you to really think about what that means to you.

Homebirths are growing in popularity, becoming something many mothers return to. I don’t see this as a a coincidence, it is a remembering. A remembering that sovereign birth is something we all have the right to. A return to reclaim the power of birth. Homebirths are in the comfort of your own space, so autonomy comes more naturally. You aren’t entering someone else’s space, they are visiting yours as a support system for you.

You can choose the environment, the lights the music etc, and if you decide you want to transfer, then that’s okay. It’s a choice you make. For first time mothers, there’s evidence to say that home births are far less traumatic, bonding feels easier and healing is quicker. Because in your space, generally speaking you feel safer, therefore all these processes don’t need to be big and hard, they can flow with ease. You can take breaks, chill out, zone out, and rest without interruption or inspection. There’s a reason mammals find/create dark quiet spaces for birthing, it is a primal instinct to do so. Humans like to think we are different, but hardly so.

Before I sign off, I have a question for you. Did you birth in more than one of these settings? What were your experiences of thr difference ? If you feel called to and safe to share, get in touch. I’d be honoured to hear from you.

With love, until next time,

Rohana x

Why I became a birth photographer?

When I had my first child over 7 years ago, I had never heard of birth photography. I had the idea that I wanted to see my baby being born, and I asked if I could have a camera set up. I didn’t really understand why I wanted to, all I knew was it felt deeply important to me.

The hospital I was birthing at said no. I didn’t argue. I didn’t know how.

That birth, my first child, was traumatic in a number of ways and I’ve worked hard to heal my memories surrounding it. Still, I wish I had photos of it. I wish I could see the woman I was in those moments.

Alas, I cannot.

But I learned my lesson. When I fell pregnant again, I spoke to my partner about wanting to hire a photographer, and so we did.

I looked for a local photographer because at that time, nearly 5 years ago, birth photography wasn’t as popular as it is today. We found one who I trusted and got on with, and she agreed to venture out of her normal photography niche and capture my birth. Those photos are some of the most profound ones I have from that time. Unfortunately, my daughter was ready before anyone else, and the moment I craved capture of, was missed.

Still, having the details like the song she was born to, the pictures of me holding her as I stood up, blood dripped down my legs, cord still attached. They are frozen in time, ready to transport me back. They are a gift from my past self, and they are a gift to my future self too. Moments I have to hold forever.

When I got those images I knew that I wanted to give this to other families. I wanted to capture the rawness of these moments, and the intimacy of saying hello for the first time.

We say that you never forget the birth of your baby, and yes in part it’s true. But memories do fade. Time robs us of details. The haze of motherhood buries the deeply vulnerable early hours postpartum.

Documenting them feels like being able to save a sliver of one of life’s most powerful periods. Giving that to others is a privilege and honour.

When I had my 3rd baby, I hired another birth photographer. We planned a homebirth but ended up freebirthing. She documented the minutes I worried I wouldn’t be able to birth my baby, and she captured the moment where he was between worlds, head here, body not yet earthside, me, a portal.

In the months afterwards where I felt like I was drowning, the photographs she gave us reminded me that I could do the hardest things and survive.

Birth photography isn’t a trend, or just a photo to post on Instagram. It’s powerful, and healing far beyond what we may realise at the time.

Would I recommend it? A big YES! Not only because I do it, but because so many women I’ve spoken to have said, nomatter how their births have gone, they would have loved more images. Those who have them, treasure them deeply.

Baby’s are only born once after all, and no two births are the same.

With love,

Rohana x

Day 2

I’m back. Today I did a yoga practice, took the kids to the park, and have spent the last couple of hours working on sublimation t-shirt prints that I am making to fundraise for Gaza. It’s been a good day and I am exhausted in a joyful way.

The eclipse yesterday sparked a few conversations which felt authentic from a home ed point of view, and today things have felt calmer. The wind was strong but the sun came out and my kids played for hours outside. Then we came home and they played here, before tuning in to a new programme so I could rest. My body, at 31 weeks of growing another human, has reminded me today, that I am not actually capable of as much as I used to be. My body, in it’s wisdom, asking me to honour the need for a slower pace, and to rest; because it knows, as changes come, rest will look very different soon.

Tonight I’m thinking about rest, and about yoga, breathwork, and Palestine. I am thinking about how my body, growing our baby dragon is able to ask for rest, to ask for nourishment, to be held safely. I am privileged, and as in every pregnancy, acutely aware of it. This time, far more resourced, far more ready, and far more willing to listen; while also being aware that women, just like me in many ways, are carrying babies through stress, heartbreak, displacement, famine, and phycological warfare as well as genocide. I have learned, more deeply in these past months than ever before; how to hold solidarity in my body, bare witness and look away when needed, coming back, and trying to create ripples of healing.

The past 6 months I have delved into learning more deeply about pregnancy, our experiences in the womb and how we are in fact so much more aware and impacted even before life earthside begins; and as I have learned, I have grown in my knowledge, and in my belly; and in my capacity to practice compassion while NOT jumping into overwhelm. I have tried to protect my baby from the stress, while not disappearing into a bubble (a previous, very effective strategy of mine).

As I type, I think of the women who don’t have the choices I do; who are birthing to the sound of drones, who are carrying through loss and change more tumultuous than I can cognitively comprehend; and I feel a sense of understanding… I know in my bones, from lives before this one, that these experiences will not break them; because the resilience passed on is just as strong as the trauma. I have a sense of real solidarity, compassion and also rage. I am burning… and that fire has led to these t-shirts that sit before me; a way for me to fundraise a little, a way for me to contribute more than contaminate. That fire has led to something bigger too; a project I worked on for weeks, pulling in different people to help, and creating resources. Small, and still, ripples… ripples that I can see and ripples that I can’t.

I hope that this baby feels those ripples; the burning inside me, to do more and also to honour rest. It isn’t something I have gifted my other babies, already earthside teaching me daily. I didn’t know how to then; but now, I am doing what I can, with different tools in my toolbox… I can feel them wriggling inside me, dancing in my belly (and making me need a wee!); and I am beyond grateful for the lessons.

Until tomorrow,

With love,

Rohana x