Category Archives: Personal

Pregnancy Part 13 – My Birth Plan

“Have you made a birth plan?” …

“What does your birth plan contain?” …

“Don’t you think that’s something you should write in a birth plan?” …

“Why haven’t you made one?” …

“You should include that in your birth plan” …

These are some things I have been asked/told in the last few weeks – and while I totally understand that everyone around me is just trying to help and give advice, the reality is, advice is only wonderful when wanted.

Wait what? A first time mum doesn’t want advice!? *The world might implode…*

 

Of course this isn’t true; at least I don’t see it that way.

I do want advice – sometimes – and I have asked for it frequently over my pregnancy, but from people I trust, respect and admire. I want advice from people who I’ve seen raise their children, or whose children I know and love. I want advice from people who I hope to learn from – not from people who I don’t know, regardless of how much they want to give it.

The funny thing is, that once they ask (or interrogate) me about my birth plan, everyone says the same thing:
“Good luck! Nothing ever goes to plan anyway.” 
So what is it about a birth plan that is so interesting anyway? Especially when most people say it doesn’t actually make a difference what you plan.

I think that most of the time, it’s just something to ask about, or perhaps something to compare. Many people will do things differently to me and I to them and sometimes there is an element of judgement but other times it’s curiosity – why have I decided this? Why made me think that?

Anyway, mine is extremely basic – it does not explain things like massage or essential oils, or dictate a specific kind of music. Quite frankly, these are details that can change easily and that I have little control over at the end of the day because if things go to pot, then I won’t get any of these frills. So instead, I’ve decided that I won’t get my hopes up and request anything specific.
The role of my birth plan is to inform my husband (who may or may not be present on the day) and my midwife of the medical decisions I have made.

These include my choices of pain medication, my preference regarding delivery of the placenta and cord clamping, the decision I have made regarding the Vitamin K vaccine and most importantly the name of my birth partner who will be my advocate through the entire process (my mum!).

Perhaps after I have had my baby, and I see other pregnant women I will feel the urge to ask about their plans too.  Perhaps I will want to know what they think or I will wonder what they will do differently… but for my own sake, I do hope that I hold my tongue unless they ask!

Pregnancy Part 12 – My Hospital Bag

I have done a lot of research on what should go into a hospital bag in preparation for labour. There are hundreds of articles and lists and YouTube videos and each one makes you feel like there is more stuff to take, or that there is no way you will need everything you have packed.

I finally realised, after hours and hours of lists and packing, unpacking and repacking that in the end, it’s a VERY personal part of the labour experience, and like with every pregnancy, each person’s bag will ultimately be different. Therefore, this is not a guide as to what to pack, although feel free to take ideas, but rather it is just me sharing what I have decided on for my own experience.

Of course, geography also has a big impact. In the UK, women may be discharged as early as 6 hours after pushing their tiny human outside their bodies but here in Gibraltar, I will be offered the change to spend 1 or even 2 nights in the postnatal ward so that I have 24 hour support and can bond with my baby without the distractions of home. Personally, I think being discharged after 6 hours is scary, especially for a first time mum so I am genuinely pleased that I will be in Gibraltar when my baby arrives.

With this in mind – here is what I will be taking to the hospital (picture at the end)… hopefully, most of it will be put to use:

For Baby:

  • Nappies x 22 (can pop home in 5 minutes if we need more)
  • Cotton wool
  • Baby wipes
  • Muslin squares x3
  • Baby vests x4
  • Sleep suits x2 (one of them is the one my parents had for me)
  • Towel
For Me:
  • A beach dress to give birth in
  • Water spray (also for labour)
  • Maternity pads x10
  • Disposable underwear x5
  • Normal underwear x2
  • Breast pads x4 pairs
  • Nipple cream
  • Towel
  • Nightgown
  • Day outfit
  • Going home outfit
  • My diary
  • Hair brush
  • A little bit of make-up
  • Toothbrush and toothpaste
  • Soap/Shampoo/Conditioner (travel versions)
  • Body lotion
  • A spare hairband in case mine breaks

The only thing I am currently missing from my list is 1 or 2 nursing bras – because I don’t have them. I need to go shopping but have been so comfortable without wearing a bra through the entire pregnancy basically that I haven’t bothered yet! Also, I will be taking my phone and camera, but those are things I use daily so will get taken last minute with their chargers.

My flat is only a 7 minute walk from the hospital, so if I feel like I have forgotten anything or we need more stuff, I can always ask someone to pick it up. Also, there is a Morrisons literally opposite the hospital so snacks are available there (hence them not being on my list). As for my birthing partner, it’ll be my mum and if I’m lucky my husband too – but they won’t be able to stay overnight so they don’t have a bag of stuff…

I feel like I have everything ready, and I have 3 weeks left to wait so I am glad it’s done… If I wish I’d taken something or found some stuff entirely useless, I will post it as an update after D-day has come and gone. Until then… I will keep busy and hope for the best. 💗

Pregnancy Part 11 – Prenatal Yoga

Yesterday I went to a yoga class – Not a prenatal one, but a normal one and I adapted it. It was the most normal I have felt in weeks! I did a lot of prenatal yoga in my room, on my own at uni which was wonderful, but it is a completely different experience to do a class.

If you can’t get to a prenatal class, I strongly recommend going to a normal class and asking for modifications. Once you go a few times, you learn what you can and can’t do, and you can still benefit from the group activity.

This s a sequence I used a lot on my own in my room:

Sit up in a straight but comfortable position. (I chose to be in Sukhasana) 
Take a few nice deep breaths and fully exhale… employ Deerga Svasam, the 3 part breath when possible.
Bring feet together into cobbler pose and do butterfly legs (flap your knees, opening your hips).
Rock the baby (one leg at a time, cradle it and then stretch it out).
 
Change position to sit with feet apart as far as possible.
Do some neck rotations. 
Do some shoulder rotations.
Stretch up tall (hands towards the ceiling).
Do side stretches to the left and right, keeping head in-between elbows. 
Holding arms above head, stretch forward with an elongated spine – do not compress baby bump. 
 
Bring feet together and come into standing. (Tadasana).
Squats! – X8 with forward facing feet, and X8 with feet outwards. (If feeling good, can repeat).
 
X10 wall press ups. (Again, can repeat if time and energy permits).
 
X3-5 Sun Breaths. 
 
From standing, bend forward to bring palms on the ground and walk back into Downward Facing Dog. (Adho Mukha Svanasana).
Come onto knees for cat/cow. 
Child pose (Balasana).
 
Deep Relaxation (Yoga Nidra). 
Breathing (Pranayama).
Short Meditiation. 
The biggest thing I found was that some days this was a wonderful sequence and other days I didn’t want to do it, so I changed bits or only did some breathing, or very few postures. I made it up as I went along, with my teacher training manual as a guide for safety. Here are some pictures of me doing bits of this sequence and bits of others that I made up:

Pregnancy Part 10 – We Are Blessed

This weekend I spent time away from Portsmouth in Swindon with the wonderful yogi’s there. There is a group at the moment taking their Teacher Training and because my mum was coming over to help teach some of it, I asked if I could sit in. It was both a wonderful re-cap for what I have learned over the past year, and taught me some more too, as well as a chance to see mum.

I know I was home only 2 weeks ago but my gosh it seems like much longer, and because the weekend held no other plans, I travelled to meet mum and some of the Gibraltar yogi’s on Thursday and was with them until yesterday before they flew back home. Even though they are all mums age and older, I genuinely felt like part of the group and am so lucky that they let me be there. Spending some quality time with mum was also brilliant – I miss her a lot when I am away. We have a special bond that I can’t quite explain but is something I cherish dearly and I am glad that I could see her.

The days were long, and quite intense because they started at 8 and didn’t finish until about 7pm, but there was such good energy and so much love and willingness to learn that it didn’t matter. Of course, as with anything that is difficult there were tears and stressful moments, and doing so much Hatha also meant that most students were moving a lot more energy than they would in a day – but it is a wonderful thing to do in a safe space with people who all understand. Honestly, I wish I could have been more involved, but with my ever-growing bump, most postures are fairly difficult.
That said, I learned a great deal by watching, and even when I didn’t feel great, managed to stay awake and listen while I curled into a blob.

During the weekend, we had not only Hatha and lots of Asana, but also a numerology talk – super interesting! – and a Kirtan workshop. I love Kirtan so this was definitely one of the best bits of the weekend for me and I have got my lovely Kirtan CD music playing as I write. There is something beautiful about being free to play with the chants and experiment… and as long as you feel while you do it, nobody can really say that its wrong. I definitely want baby to enjoy these chants the way I do, and I must try and make it more of a habit to sing to him.

Along with some books that I was gifted about babies and birth (which I will start after my exam today, I was blessed – quite literally.

Based on a Navajo Ritual… the students did a blessing for my baby and I. It was beautiful, and true to fashion, I cried. We all sat in a circle and starting with my, I wrapped a thread around my wrist a couple of times, and threw it to someone opposite me. From there the string got thrown around until everyone had a little bit of it on their wrists and it came back to me to close of the circle again. Each time somebody got the string, they said a few words or gave a wish for baby and I… considering I had only met most of these people a few days earlier, it was really touching how much love and good wishes we received, and so I was very overwhelmed, cried and was a little bit speechless for a while. I don’t think I am good at expressing my emotions when I am overwhelmed with them, but I have a lot of gratitude and love for every single person who was there this weekend – even though I may not have said it in those words, I am thankful to them all.

The weekend was wonderful and one to remember. I hope there will be more like this in the future, so baby can come and enjoy too, and maybe, if we are lucky, my wonderful husband will come with us. It’s not really his scene but he has enjoyed Kirtan before, and sometimes really enjoys yoga too so we shall see. For now, I want to try and keep this feeling of fullness and love I have after the weekend and enjoy the next few weeks as much as I can. 💗

Pregnancy Part 9 – Leaving the Second Trimester

So today marks the start of my third trimester – where on earth has the time gone?

I am a bit nervous about this new phase, mostly because it means that in about 12 weeks my little Theo will arrive and 12 weeks is NOT a long time.
12 weeks is one term at university.

So far… I have had a roller-coaster time, I have got married, passed my yoga exam and I finished the entirety of the teaching blocks of my second year at university. Doesn’t sound like much but it feels like a lifetime.

Most importantly, I have grown a tiny human from not even a thought, to a person who weighs as much as a kabocha squash and I have learned to marvel at the tiny human growing inside me. I have fallen in love with someone I haven’t even met yet.
But… I am not going to pretend that things are all beautiful and the sunshine is always out. Being pregnant has been wonderful so far and I love my baby, I have marvelled at his movements and laughed at myself for needed a wee every time I sneeze… and I have learned that carrying a human inside you comes with a fair amount of discomfort and it’s not usually talked about.
I think I have been quite lucky, but I have suffered from a bunch of pregnancy symptoms that I didn’t realise would happen… here are my 9 top examples:
Being sick is normal – morning sickness did not go away after my first trimester, and I still get sick even now… or when I’m not sick, I suffer from huge waves of nausea… It is not something I was prepared for, but I have learned that it is something that happens and is normal.
Diarrhoea is also normal – yeah! Most of the time, we tell pregnant women to be careful and eat right because getting constipated is both common and a pain, but your body is changing rapidly and hormones are shifting so the opposite is normal too.
Heartburn! I never understood what this was until now… and now, I have a deep sympathy for those who suffer from it.
 
Boobs hurt (really early on). Bras are not my friend! This one is not applicable to everyone I am sure, but personally, I hate wearing a bra… they are uncomfortable and quite frankly, I don’t care if you can see my nipples through my top, the are part of my body just like my arms or legs. But, breasts grow and become heavy… in the last 12 weeks I have gone from a 32C to a 34D and still growing. My husband has quite enjoyed this change but I have been less keen…
Cars are also not my friend … in fact, most forms of transport other than walking don’t agree with me. I have always suffered from a bit of motion sickness, but being pregnant on a plane is a lot more uncomfortable than not being pregnant on a plane… and in a car when the heating is one – I honestly would rather walk! Luckily, in Portsmouth I cycle most places, and when I am home in Gibraltar, almost everything is within walking distance.
I could sleep for days .. I have never felt so physically tired after a day of doing nothing as recently. Lucky for me, I am taking the advice and resting more because when Theo arrives I know I will be tired 24/7.
Yoga is NOT always good – even prenatal. I have had to check and change my routine because all those hip openers may not be the wisest idea.. I have the knowledge and resources to change this which is good, and my mum is wonderful because I can talk to her and share and we will figure out what might work better. I love my yoga sessions and I feel 10x better whenever I do them, but I definitely have noticed the subtle differences and pains when I walk after some postures… Maybe I’ll do a post with an example prenatal yoga class structure when I am back home.
People touch your belly – even when you wear jumpers saying not to. This is a weird one.. I don’t usually mind, but it’s strange because what happened to the personal space bubble? Apparently when you grow a person, it goes away because everyone wants to feel the miracle inside you.
And lastly….You are allowed to be sad sometimes. At first I thought there was something wrong with me, and that I was being selfish and horrible but I have learned that giving up my body to another person, while beautiful, is inherently difficult. When I gave myself permission to be sad or worried, it allowed me to realise that I’m probably not the only one who’s ever felt like this and it meant that I could feel my emotions without being angry at myself. It doesn’t mean I don’t want my baby, or that I won’t love him… but it does mean that I am going through a scary time and have feelings about it.
Overall, my first trimester was a massive roller-coaster, and my second trimester was really busy. I am a student which means essays; studying abroad means a fair amount of travel, and having a husband who works away means lonely nights sometimes. That said, the time has flown by and now I am entering the final phase… I am nervous and excited and altogether a little bit uncertain… but I know that the time will pass quickly so I want to enjoy it as much as possible. For now, I will focus on my uni exams and look forward to going home in 3 weeks. 😄