Birth plans remind me of hospitals, so instead I’m calling this my birth guide – flexible but strong, and really rooted in exactly what I want; an empowering birth at home, with my babies around to meet their new sibling.

I’ve included my pronouns (she/her) in an effort not only to notify the birth team that I refer to myself in this way, but also to highlight and emphasise the importance of checking, every time. The birth world is moving towards inclusivity, and though it’s long overdue, it’s a step forward in the rights of transgender birthing people; and so if a birth team gets used to seeing pronouns on a guide, it becomes normal – I think even though I fall into the she/her category which most birth teams will use automatically, it feels important to include them.

Keeping it simple and easy to read with minimal text should help information to be picked out easily.

Interventions – I have emphasised that I do NOT want any; because while they may be useful when needed, I know that often, 1 intervention leads to another and I want to feel in control of what is happening. I trust my body, and I also trust my birth partners to let me know if I really do need to consider something more radical.

Pain relief – water works magic. I’ve read about sterile water injects, and may add them to the list, but haven’t made my mind up, and haven’t discussed them with my midwife yet (which I intend to do). We’ve hired a pool, and so for now I am pretty content with that; and though I have never used one, I thought having a TENS machine might be useful – I’m quite excited really!

Environment – did you know that most mammals give birth best in late evening or nighttime? It’s why there is a stereotype about labour starting the in the middle of the night.. though of course it doesn’t happen for everyone. Low light, quiet conditions often signal safety and warmth, comfort and a sense of hyyge, so we our bodies feel like we are in the ideal space to bring our babies earthside. Going into a hospital with bright lights and lots of noise often interrupts that feeling of hyyge, and so this saying comes to mind: “the first intervention in birth is stepping out the door.” I don’t know who said it, but it feels extremely apt.

The first intervention in birth is stepping out the door.

Labour – meaning Active labour – is something that most people focus on the most, but somehow for me, after Ila-Rae’s birth, I am the least bit concerned about this stage. I know the waves will come, I know I will breathe them away, and I know there will be a point I feel I cannot continue. But birthing my daughter empowered me to trust my body in it’s primal instincts, so my guide says to allow the natural fetal ejection reflex, because I am confident my body will know what to do.

I hope that Theo and Ila will be awake for the last hours, so that they can be there when their new sibling arrives; but that, I have neither confidence nor control over, so it’s there, it’s a hope, but it’s not something I am worrying much about.

I trust my body.

My body and soul are working together to birth my baby

My baby is an active member of their birth story

All these affirmations are ones I have made into cards, to hang in the birth space, and to ground me on the day.

Lastly, postpartum – do most people plan for this? I have included the first hours of immediate postpartum in this guide, but I am also creating a postpartum guide for the weeks and months ahead. After all, birthing a human means we are born anew as well – and nourishing myself, though it feels a little radical, is so important.

I encapsulated my placenta after my 2nd birth but haven’t planned for that this time, instead I am still trying to decide what we will do. It is probably the one thing I regret not planning for sooner; but my hope is that in the next 8 weeks I’ll figure it out, because the placenta is sacred, and the idea of it going to waste is not one I can comprehend.

It makes sense that the placenta almost looks like a tree with many branches – a tree of life.

Ricki Lake

Skin to skin, golden hour, delayed cord clamping; these are all becoming more normal so there isn’t much radical there… I requested all of these with my 1st born, and though there was a little chaos around his birth, for the most part we were able to have at least a little time. With my 2nd, we had almost 3 glorious hours of unrushed skin to skin and bonding for both H and me… this time, there isn’t anywhere to move, nobody telling H to drive home and no rush to change, so I am dreaming of a slow and sleepy immediate postpartum, where we can just stay within our bubble of bliss.

It is the time I am most excited for our photographer to capture too, especially those first moments with Theo and Ila-Rae.

Overall this birth guide isn’t asking for much, but it also isn’t asking because I know what I want, and what is realistic. It’s a guide, it’s flexible and it’s something tangible too.

Did you plan for birth? Are you planning? Is there something here that’s made you think? If so, I hope it’s helped.

Xox

Rohana