Can we play?

It seems like such a simple question. Often we say ‘yes but first…’ or ‘in a minute’ or perhaps even ‘you can go play while I…. (insert chore or other seemingly important thing)’.

My son turns 3 next month. Play is everything for us, and honestly, I am not that good at it. I no longer think that I could be doing more important things while he just ‘plays’ but I still have to check myself and actively remember that play is exactly what I need to be doing.

I was raised with play, I know this, but somewhere along the way from babyhood into childhood into schools with exams, play became something foreign. Worse, it became something wasteful. Why waste time playing? What is it about play that makes society jump back in fear? That we as adults could actually take time in our day to immerse ourselves in something we truly enjoyed, just for fun, and not feel a shred of guilt. Is play really wasteful? Or is the system and societal consensus that because play is not productive in terms of material wealth, it is not necessary.

Sitting with these ideas made me uncomfortable. It still does, but less so. I changed my internal narrative, because my son is asking to play, and I was creating excuses – for what? What is more important that getting on the floor and having a pretend picnic? What creates more joy than exaggerated stomping around with big dinosaur feet? The dishes… ? Or maybe it was the bed that needed to be made?

Or the washing, drying, folding, sorting, tidying up, cleaning the bathroom, sweeping baby food off the floor, hoovering, or hanging up the pile of clean clothes living in the baby cot? 

But truthfully, right in the moment… play is everything. None of the above list create danger to us, nor do they disappear (I wish!) if they are left waiting. My son turns 3 next month, and when he’s turning 6 I will still have dishes to do, and they will still be there at 16, and 20 and forever. But he won’t be almost 3 forever, and he certainly will not ask me to play forever.

The baby I felt would never leave my side turned into the wildest boy who wants to play.

Play means everything.

I catch myself now, actively reminding myself that play is anything but wasteful. It has so many social and physical benefits that are increasingly documented. But, though the research is incredible and much needed, I think if we stop for a minute and listen with our inner child, heart forward, we already know that play is exactly what our children need.