If you’re pregnant, send this to your partner! If you’re the partner, keep reading. I’d love to suggest one of the best, most thoughtful, lasting gifts you can buy for Mother’s Day.
One that’s effect will ripple out a hundredfold in the years to come.
It isn’t a gift you can wrap…
Ready?
Invest in a doula.
Yep. A doula. Birth support that you can rely on. Postpartum support that will genuinely nourish you.
Studies show having a doula present at your birth reduces chances of unwanted interventions, lowers cesarean rates and significantly improves the way families feel about their birth, even if it didn’t go to plan.
Starting off with support and nourishment means that will set you up in parenting.
Starting feeling supported, listened to, respected and nurtured is a heck of a lot better than feeling emotionally exhausted, ignored and violated.
So find a doula in your local area
Message them
And give your partner the gift of genuine support. She will remember it for a lot longer than flowers and chocolate, I promise!
And if your local area is Helensburgh, drop me a message. I’m offering 15% off 2 doula support packages booked by the 31st of March – payment plans are available.
Flowers wilt, chocolate melts, doulas bring both, along with the support that impacts you for life.
In this day and age, when we have so much information on our phones and computers, do we really need a post talking about what books to read when pregnant?
I’d argue, that because of the fact we have so much information at our fingertips, it is even more important that posts like this exist.
So, if you are pregnant, here’s my doula-y advice on what to read.
A feel good, make you laugh novel – whatever looks great, pick it up at the charity shop, or treat yourself in waterstones. Get a book that cracks you up, read it, love it, read it again!
A book that makes you cry – in the best, wholesome, I’m so deeply attached to the characters and their story kind of way. If it’s a series, even better – binge them!
A love story – not smutt, though of course, go for that too if you fancy it – but I’m talking about a Wuthering Heights, or It Ends With Us kind of energy.
And once you’re done with those … then pick up the birthy books.
Because your whole life is about to tailspin, where it’s so easy to consume all things birth and parenting, and entirely forget to read for joy and laughter too. Reading books is one of the best ways to support a generation of readers, and if you do it while pregnant, you’ll (hopefully) keep reading, albeit less initially, while your babies grow.
Birthy books I’d recommend – honestly, take this with a large spoonful of salt, because while books are great, during pregnancy, I genuinely believe the best education comes from community.
Placenta – The Forgotten Chakra
The Oxytocin Factor
Birthing From Within
Parenting Books I’d say are worth it in the first year –
Let them Eat Dirt – B Brett Finlay & Marie-Claire Arrieta
Playful Parenting – Lawrence J Cohen
Extraordinary Parenting – Eloise Rickman
There’s many more. I’ve read some great books in the last few years that have shifted so much of the way I look at our bodies, our society, our children. These are important conversations, and if you really want to dig deep into it, do so. But be careful not to spiral. Don’t learn so much that your brain takes over and your body is put on mute. Don’t try to get it right or perfect so hard that you end up shaming yourself when human nature kicks in and things change.
There is no right or wrong birth. There is no perfect book that will tell you all the things you’re wondering. But there are many books that will help, and many that will allow you to travel the world from the comfort of your sofa – which is as important if not more so than squishing facts into your brain.
Learn from people, in person, in conversation, in community. Indulge in books. Because reading should be for pleasure as much as anything.
New beginnings. Momentum. Goals. Big leaps. Bold moves. All the things.
But what if you’re pregnant?
What if you’re stepping into a season that asks you to slow down in order to keep up rather than speed up?
What if you’re in a space right now where everything feels too big, too much, all the changes and fears, all the hopes and dreams, and the idea of stepping back feels impossible. If that’s you, I hear it – its HARD. Especially with so much unknown. But this baby brings medicine. Their fire is growing in you, so slowing down is vital, for both of you.
The Truth About Fire Horse Babies
Fire Horse babies are special.
The last Year of the Fire Horse was 1966 — and in places like Japan, it was surrounded by deep superstition. There was a long-held belief that girls born in a Fire Horse year would grow up to be headstrong, fierce, and difficult to marry. So much so that birth rates dropped as families chose to avoid having babies that year.
Let that sink in.
An entire generation feared because of their potential fire.
Learning this now, I can’t help but feel that Fire Horse babies are not something to fear — they are an essential ingredient in a changing world. The very qualities once labeled “too much” are exactly what we are being called into now: courage, independence, conviction, heat.
Maybe the world has always needed them, but now more than ever.
If You’re Pregnant Right Now
Being pregnant in a Fire Horse year might mean you’re feeling everything more deeply, and I truly believe that that’s not weakness – it’s your inner wisdom surfacing.
Pregnancy cracks us open. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. It strips away what no longer fits, heightens intuition, amplifies truth. We can be incredibly creative, and especially sensitive, things that serve us long after our babies are earthside.
It’s not meant to be easy, but it shouldn’t be lonely or destructive either.
We are social mammals. We are designed for community. For touch. For shared stories. For being witnessed as we grow the next generation inside our bodies.
If you’re questioning everything: good. You should.
The systems surrounding birth and motherhood are not serving women the way they should. Many of them exhaust us, rush us, silence us. So think carefully about who you want in your space when you birth. Who holds your nervous system steady? Who honors your intuition? Who sees you as wise and trustworthy? That choice can change everything.
You deserve to be nurtured. You deserve to be held. You deserve to feel safe as you openthe portal and birth your earthling, whatever that looks like for you.
The Fire Horse Runs, But that is not all
Yes, the Fire Horse runs. It carries momentum. It brings heat and acceleration. This is something social media keeps showing us. But horses are also deeply attuned creatures. Their electromagnetic field is 5 times stronger than ours, which means they amplify what’s already present.
So if your pregnancy is asking for stillness… for rest… for self-compassion… The Fire Horse isn’t fighting that.
It’s doubling down on it.
Momentum doesn’t always mean speed. Sometimes it means depth. Sometimes it means small, consistent commitment. Sometimes it means rooting down, and trusting that the rise will come.
The Medicine of a Fire Horse Baby
Reading all this, and sitting with it, I believe that if you are pregnant right now, your Fire Horse baby may be the medicine you didn’t know you needed. And honestly, medicine you probably don’t want right now.
Because medicine isn’t always comfortable -it stretches us, burning away illusions, demanding growth, and asking us to trust.
Can you trust yourself in ways you never have before?
It’s hard and we resist the unknown, we seek the comfort, even when it holds us back – and these new babies are gently, but firmly (or in some cases wildly!) forcing us to stop, slow down, take the bitter pill and wake up. It feels icky and hard, but the lessons will ripple well into parenthood.
The work you do now — even the quiet, invisible work of resting when the world says run — will pay dividends in the months and years to come.
Fire Horse energy isn’t just about chasing the horizon.
It’s about becoming strong enough to hold it.
So let the energy grow with your baby… lean in, and reach out – seek support, stay the path. I hope your fire horse baby brings all the joy, strength and fierceness that was feared all those years ago – because goodness knows we need it!
As the theme changes from spooky to sparkles, I am jumping on this trend with a quick note today, because honestly, while everyone sharing their fabulous decorations, costumes, and pumpkins – almost all of which have a HUGE impact on the environment and carry their own horror story, there’s also a 365 day crisis in perintal care that’s far scarier than Halloween.
5 truely spooky things, going on every single day within birth, because the system is build to conveyor belt families from pregnancy through to postpartum as conveniently as possible. This is not because those working in it want to, but because that’s the way policies and systems have been built.
Scary stuff!
So, heres just 5, of the many terrifying things going on in the birth world … all year round.
The lies in antenatal care from professionals in the system – I know I said above that it’s not those working in the system, and most of the time, it isn’t. But the truth is, sometimes it is. Sometimes it is professionals ticking boxes, sometimes it’s disregarding evidence based care, sometimes it’s policy and sometimes it’s someone who’s burnt out and exhausted. But the lies come. And the ripples they create are immense.
Induction rates are incredibly high. When there’s a medical need, induction can be an incredibly useful life-saving tool, and thank goodness for that. However for the majority of women and birthing people induction is often a result of lack of confidence, misinformation, scarmongering and guidance about ‘big babies’ or being ‘overdue’. It isn’t based on the latest evidence and induction – in its various forms – ends up being the first step in a sliding scale of interventions which often perpetuate trauam for all those involved.
Lack of trauma informed, neruodivergent aware, autonomy based care is in part related to the point above: induction. However, it goes well beyond that. A lack of well rounded training and resources means that a majority of healthcare professionals, while well intentioned, often don’t have the correct language or experience to be able to support the different women and birthing people that they are seeing. The lack of neurodiverse not knowledge means that a lot of the time, families are treated in ways that cause more harm, coerce all violate their rates to autonomy. The reality of this is that once again, women, birthing people, partners and the babies involved are coming away from birthing within the system with experiences they need to heal from right at the start of this new journey together.
When we have a lack of support and we feel out of control or in danger. Physiological birth is halted, and our bodies go into shut down. This means that a majority of families are starting their journey together with this new baby, and also having to recover from the experience of pregnancy and birth.
The maternal mortality rate for non white bodies is another incredibly scary aspect of birth in not just the UK but around the Western world. The reality is that biases exist, unconscious ones often doing more harm than we realise. Although most people don’t believe themselves to be racist, these are socialised biases that have informed everything we do, so of course, it is unsurprising that we see them unfold in preintal care too.
Lastly, the bullying, coercion, and violation that women and birthing are experiencing every day. Unfortunately, almost everyone who has been through the system will have an experience where they have been treated in a less than ideal way. However, the scariest part of this is that they leave, and I, myself have done this too, grateful for the fact that they have come out not as damaged as they could be, and that their baby is there, not damaged or as damaged as could have been.
Halloween is one day. One commercialised day adulterated from ancient traditions.
The crisis in perinatal care is all year round.
If you’re planning a baby or pregnant – get informed. You and your baby deserve better than what is currently happening.
Pregnancy is one of the most significant transitions in our life, and one that unlike the menarche is still widely celebrated in Western society. It is of course the magical time when a woman grows a tiny human while battling heartburn, swollen feet, and unsolicited belly rubs from strangers, because lets face it, who needs autonomy right?! The way the world is moving, it’s scary! As we move further and further into a time where white supremacy is clinging on and throwing a party for everyone to see, I’m sat at my desk thinking about baby showers, pregnancy and how we’ve (in masses) lost the meaning of rituals at this sacred time. I want to pause, and take a minute to appreciate the pregnancy rituals that actually honor women and foster a sense of community—no smoke bombs or giant pink and blue cakes required.
Traditional Pregnancy Rituals, from around the world
Across cultures worldwide, far beyond my desk in Helensbrugh, babies are born, people live and die and the world keeps spinning. Pregnancy has long been celebrated with rituals focused on nurturing and supporting the mother, rather than just planning the perfect Instagram moment. These traditions emphasize connection, wisdom-sharing, and, dare I say, actual real life support. I think it’s important to say though, there’s a difference between being inspired by these traditions and being appropriative of them, so definitely consider that before you just grab one off the shelf kind of thing.
Here are a few beautiful examples:
Blessingway (Navajo Tradition)
Unlike a baby shower (which is often just a lot of baby grows presents and weird games ), the Blessingway is a sacred Navajo ceremony centered around the mother. Women in her circle gather to offer blessings, share stories, and quite literally wrap her in love and encouragement. Sometimes, they create a beaded necklace, each bead symbolizing a wish for her journey ahead. No awkward “guess the baby food” games—just pure community.
Seemantham (South Indian Ritual)
In South India, Seemantham is a celebration that again focuses on the mother’s well-being. Family members recite prayers, offer gifts meant to bring prosperity, and pamper the mum-to-be with traditional music and massages. It is a pregnancy pause, to honour the work she is doing growing her baby and about making sure she feels cherished and held towards those last few weeks – It’s not about blue or pink balloons!
Arvigo Mayan Abdominal Massage (Mayan Tradition)
This beautiful tradition is not a single event, but rather something that has been passed down through generations to support fertility, pregnancy, and postpartum recovery. It is a practice where women gather to perform gentle abdominal massages, believed to promote a healthy pregnancy and ease labor. Talk about ancestral strengths – I love this.
Pregnancy Cradling (Ghana, Akan Tribe)
In certain Ghanaian traditions (and this holds a soft spot for me because my mum was born in Ghana) a pregnant woman is surrounded by elder women who cradle her belly and chant blessings. This is meant to ensure the safe arrival of the baby and provide emotional and spiritual support. Can you imagine the power of this, as opposed to a tea party or similar where mum-to-be is shattered and overwhelmed in both love and stuff!
There are more, but you get the point. None of these traditions are about ‘stuff’ or performance. They are about community, village, support, all things that are essential in our life and parenting, and yet things that we are deprived off in the society we live in.
These rituals and community make a difference. They start our mothering journey off in a space of sacredness and wisdom; when the wise women gather in love and joy to celebrate, it is a passing down of power and magick. Yes it sounds witchy, because it is! It so beautifully is.
I’m running pregnancy yoga classes now in Helensburgh and this is what I want to share with the gorgeous mamas coming to stretch and connect with their babies; the rituals and relationships we forge that sustain us are so much more essential that capitalist systems want us to believe. I haven’t decided if I will yet, but I’m feeling really drawn to doing a ceremony at the end of this block of classes. Inspired by, but not imitating the traditions from around the world, I’d make my own mothers blessing ceremony, because though yes the wisdom is celebrated in different ways, ultimately there is an innate wisdom within all of us. Our ancestors birthed us, and we birth the future. We are the ancestors of our great great grandchildren, and honouring that feels incredibly special.
That’s it for tonight, thanks so much for reading,
When I first learned about how in Chinese medicine birth is seen as a depleting life event, it felt contradictory to everything I’d ever read birth was “supposed” to be.
Surely having a baby was a rich, life giving event that left you full and feeling blessed and whole right? But no, in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) birth is an event that requires a lot of jing, and depletes the qi and blood within the body. It puts pressure on the kidneys and takes the warmth out of a woman’s body, so where she was full of the warmth of an extra life, with extra blood and vital energy through her pregnancy, the energy is used in labour and by the time baby is earthside, her body is emptier and depleted. Essentially what I learned was, yes having a baby is a beautiful life event, and it requires massive amounts of life force energy. Both things can be simultaneously true.
By this point I’d had 3 babies already, and I hadn’t respected the sacredness of postpartum any of those times. In fact, with my 2nd, I was up and out in the Scottish December cold just 3 days after she was born. With my summer babies, I didn’t rest either, and I indulged in ice creams and cold drinks, not understanding the impact letting more cold into my body would have.
From this experience then, and from work with women in the past few years, I have really leaned into the wisdom of traditional Chinese medicine, and deeply respect the many cultures that prioritise a rest period postpartum, where women can rest, rebuild their stores of warmth and qi, and honour their recovery from birth while bonding with their babies.
In Chinese Medicine, there is a 40 day period of recovery. These 40 days are essential for warmth, healing, and vitality, and the wisdom of it says that if a woman lets cold into her body, through food or exposure, in these first 40 days, the result will likely be an impact (negatively) on her mental health down the line. Of course, postpartum depression, anxiety and other mental health struggles are not solely related to the first 40 days, and we can absolutely see there are elements of privilege and resources that impact families too, but the idea that we could radically influence that first year within the first 40 days is fascinating to me.
Learning this revolutionised the way I taught postpartum doula-ing, it changed the way I would offer support postpartum, and when it came to having my 4th baby, it radically impacted the way I planned my own resting period.
I didn’t manage 40 days indoors – I’ve got 3 older kids so that was always going to be stretch; but I did give myself 12. I prepped warm foods, accepted food from friends, asked my mum to come visit and mother me in my own newness again, and strictly stayed away from cold foods, drinks, and winds. It wasn’t perfect, but it was my own adapted honouring of the learnings TCM has given me.
You know that saying, if its worth doing, it’s worth half arsing? Or done is better than prefect? This was my approach. I knew following the teachings of TCM would be beneficial, and whether that was doing it at 90% or doing it at 15%, I would gain warmth and energy to keep up with my older kiddos in the long run.
7 months later, I can see and feel the gift of those slow weeks, and it influences the way I show up even more to support others. Prepping for postpartum with a lens of ancient traditions is something I think more families should have access to. A slow, warm, hygge filled postpartum, with nourishing foods and a support bubble that shows up for you, with no need to mask or entertain or host them, is what I wish I could give every new mother no-matter how many children she has. It is through this rest and healing that we start parenting not in burnout or depleted and traumatised, but full of life and feeling supported. Imagine a whole generation raised by families who aren’t in their survival responses – what a change that will make on the world! This is the impact of TCM (and other ancient wisdoms)… if we learn and listen.
The way a baby is born impacts them on some level for their whole life.
The way they are born. The people around them. The environment they enter this world into.
Baby’s born into war carry that, (if they survive) into the life they live and it physically alters the DNA of their decendants. This has been heavily weighing on my mind this week, as we watch the events in the middle East unfold- with little to no voice given to the reality birthing women and babies are facing.
Baby’s born into immense privilege carry it too… though not always in the ways we might assume. Privilege often equates to a certain amount of resources over and above others. In the birth world, it’s a little more nuanced than that.
Assuming that you’re birthing outside of a war zone then; what impact does the environment of birth really have? It matters deeply, not just for babies but for mothers and partners too.
We cannot prepare for the future without embracing the meaning and the relevance of the baby’s perspective on life.
-Michel Odent
We know that mothers birthing in supported environments where they feel safe and nurtured pass this information on to their babies. The same is true for mothers who birth in conditions of big T and little t trauma. From hospitals to birthing centers to home births, the space you birth will shape everything from the medical interventions used to the emotional atmosphere surrounding your birth. After numerous conversations about why thinking about this as early on as possible matters, I thought I’d write a little on it.
Choosing where to give birth is a deeply personal decision. The assumption that everyone has the information and resources to choose the way they want is one I just cannot make. Socio-economic factors come into play, race, ethnicity and culture too. In the UK (at least at the time of writing in 2024), you can legally choose where you birth, and that choice can absolutely impact the way your birth story plays out.
Ultimately, its your choice, so get informed! There are far too many women told they can only birth in hospital when truly they do have other options. Equally, if the idea of birthing anywhere outside a hospital gives you shudders, then planning that ahead matters.
I want to preface the next few passages by highlighting that ultimately I believe every single baby comes earthside in the way they need to, with their unique birth resourcing them in various ways.
What are your options?
Hospital, Birth Centre, Home. I won’t chat freebirth, that’s for another day.
Hospitals are the high tech options, sold to us as high safety, but also the space where the highest levels of birth trauma exist. Hopstials are supposed to be safe – and when they work, they are a blessing. More and more though, especially for women who have no or low ‘risk’ factors the hosptial birth story isn’t a happy one.
Hospitals represent the standard choice for childbirth, they are normalised in the media we consume right from childhood, and other spaces are considered ‘alternative’ or even a little radical. There are an array of medical interventions and expertise available, with health care professionals and a full range of technology on hand to monitor baby and mother throughout labour. There’s access to all sorts of interventions and pain relief options, and of course surgery.
While a cesarean birth can be lifesaving; for many of us in the birth world, we can see that it is the interventions prior that snowballed a healthy birth into an emergency. The conveyor belt system of induction and cesarean births is all a bit too neatly boxed up; and it takes away from the rite of passage birth physiologically is.
Hospital births are often a ticket to the trauma train because procedure trumps real life experience, and women are often gaslit, ignored, or violated. Circling back to babies, this also means babies are being ignored, assaulted and sent the information that the world is scary and unsafe.
Birth is nearly never an emergency, but sometimes it is. If you need to prioritise safety with medical resources, then a hospital birth is a blessing.
If you don’t… Read on.
A birth centre/midwife unit:
Birth centres are often described as kind of like the middle ground between hospital and home. They’re quieter, often offer a pool, can have the lights dimmed and try to be as warm and cosy as possible. Most birth centers will try to encourage birth to be as intervention free as possible, and I’ve heard of some beautiful birth stories with supportive staff in them.
However, with the ever increasing agenda to streamline birth (and yes this is the agenda), more birth centres are being closed or told they can’t operate fully because of staffing levels. Midwife units cannot support birthing women if they aren’t supported themselves; which means being able to access these is getting harder. Added to this is the fact most of them are for babies being born physiologically with little / no risk, and will turn away women who don’t their box.
This isn’t without reason, birth centres aren’t equipped to navigate emergencies or complications, and so err on the slide of caution. Birth centres can be some of the most beautiful, supportive and nurturing spaces, and midwives often go above and beyond to make them so… but they need to be given the resources for that to happen.
Home births:
For a healthy woman, the first intervention in birth and labour is leaving home. This is something I learned only after my 2nd child, and having had both hospital and home births myself, it is something I wholly believe to be true. As a woman, I know my homebirths were far more positive than my hospital ones, and I only got here through research and experience.
As a doula who wholeheartedly supports informed choices, I will never tell a potential client where to birth, but I will absolutely encourage you to really think about what that means to you.
Homebirths are growing in popularity, becoming something many mothers return to. I don’t see this as a a coincidence, it is a remembering. A remembering that sovereign birth is something we all have the right to. A return to reclaim the power of birth. Homebirths are in the comfort of your own space, so autonomy comes more naturally. You aren’t entering someone else’s space, they are visiting yours as a support system for you.
You can choose the environment, the lights the music etc, and if you decide you want to transfer, then that’s okay. It’s a choice you make. For first time mothers, there’s evidence to say that home births are far less traumatic, bonding feels easier and healing is quicker. Because in your space, generally speaking you feel safer, therefore all these processes don’t need to be big and hard, they can flow with ease. You can take breaks, chill out, zone out, and rest without interruption or inspection. There’s a reason mammals find/create dark quiet spaces for birthing, it is a primal instinct to do so. Humans like to think we are different, but hardly so.
Before I sign off, I have a question for you. Did you birth in more than one of these settings? What were your experiences of thr difference ? If you feel called to and safe to share, get in touch. I’d be honoured to hear from you.
When I had my first child over 7 years ago, I had never heard of birth photography. I had the idea that I wanted to see my baby being born, and I asked if I could have a camera set up. I didn’t really understand why I wanted to, all I knew was it felt deeply important to me.
The hospital I was birthing at said no. I didn’t argue. I didn’t know how.
That birth, my first child, was traumatic in a number of ways and I’ve worked hard to heal my memories surrounding it. Still, I wish I had photos of it. I wish I could see the woman I was in those moments.
Alas, I cannot.
But I learned my lesson. When I fell pregnant again, I spoke to my partner about wanting to hire a photographer, and so we did.
I looked for a local photographer because at that time, nearly 5 years ago, birth photography wasn’t as popular as it is today. We found one who I trusted and got on with, and she agreed to venture out of her normal photography niche and capture my birth. Those photos are some of the most profound ones I have from that time. Unfortunately, my daughter was ready before anyone else, and the moment I craved capture of, was missed.
Still, having the details like the song she was born to, the pictures of me holding her as I stood up, blood dripped down my legs, cord still attached. They are frozen in time, ready to transport me back. They are a gift from my past self, and they are a gift to my future self too. Moments I have to hold forever.
When I got those images I knew that I wanted to give this to other families. I wanted to capture the rawness of these moments, and the intimacy of saying hello for the first time.
We say that you never forget the birth of your baby, and yes in part it’s true. But memories do fade. Time robs us of details. The haze of motherhood buries the deeply vulnerable early hours postpartum.
Documenting them feels like being able to save a sliver of one of life’s most powerful periods. Giving that to others is a privilege and honour.
When I had my 3rd baby, I hired another birth photographer. We planned a homebirth but ended up freebirthing. She documented the minutes I worried I wouldn’t be able to birth my baby, and she captured the moment where he was between worlds, head here, body not yet earthside, me, a portal.
In the months afterwards where I felt like I was drowning, the photographs she gave us reminded me that I could do the hardest things and survive.
Birth photography isn’t a trend, or just a photo to post on Instagram. It’s powerful, and healing far beyond what we may realise at the time.
Would I recommend it? A big YES! Not only because I do it, but because so many women I’ve spoken to have said, nomatter how their births have gone, they would have loved more images. Those who have them, treasure them deeply.
Baby’s are only born once after all, and no two births are the same.
I’m back. Today I did a yoga practice, took the kids to the park, and have spent the last couple of hours working on sublimation t-shirt prints that I am making to fundraise for Gaza. It’s been a good day and I am exhausted in a joyful way.
The eclipse yesterday sparked a few conversations which felt authentic from a home ed point of view, and today things have felt calmer. The wind was strong but the sun came out and my kids played for hours outside. Then we came home and they played here, before tuning in to a new programme so I could rest. My body, at 31 weeks of growing another human, has reminded me today, that I am not actually capable of as much as I used to be. My body, in it’s wisdom, asking me to honour the need for a slower pace, and to rest; because it knows, as changes come, rest will look very different soon.
Tonight I’m thinking about rest, and about yoga, breathwork, and Palestine. I am thinking about how my body, growing our baby dragon is able to ask for rest, to ask for nourishment, to be held safely. I am privileged, and as in every pregnancy, acutely aware of it. This time, far more resourced, far more ready, and far more willing to listen; while also being aware that women, just like me in many ways, are carrying babies through stress, heartbreak, displacement, famine, and phycological warfare as well as genocide. I have learned, more deeply in these past months than ever before; how to hold solidarity in my body, bare witness and look away when needed, coming back, and trying to create ripples of healing.
The past 6 months I have delved into learning more deeply about pregnancy, our experiences in the womb and how we are in fact so much more aware and impacted even before life earthside begins; and as I have learned, I have grown in my knowledge, and in my belly; and in my capacity to practice compassion while NOT jumping into overwhelm. I have tried to protect my baby from the stress, while not disappearing into a bubble (a previous, very effective strategy of mine).
As I type, I think of the women who don’t have the choices I do; who are birthing to the sound of drones, who are carrying through loss and change more tumultuous than I can cognitively comprehend; and I feel a sense of understanding… I know in my bones, from lives before this one, that these experiences will not break them; because the resilience passed on is just as strong as the trauma. I have a sense of real solidarity, compassion and also rage. I am burning… and that fire has led to these t-shirts that sit before me; a way for me to fundraise a little, a way for me to contribute more than contaminate. That fire has led to something bigger too; a project I worked on for weeks, pulling in different people to help, and creating resources. Small, and still, ripples… ripples that I can see and ripples that I can’t.
I hope that this baby feels those ripples; the burning inside me, to do more and also to honour rest. It isn’t something I have gifted my other babies, already earthside teaching me daily. I didn’t know how to then; but now, I am doing what I can, with different tools in my toolbox… I can feel them wriggling inside me, dancing in my belly (and making me need a wee!); and I am beyond grateful for the lessons.
Supporting you from pregnancy to parenting 