If you’re pregnant, send this to your partner! If you’re the partner, keep reading. I’d love to suggest one of the best, most thoughtful, lasting gifts you can buy for Mother’s Day.
One that’s effect will ripple out a hundredfold in the years to come.
It isn’t a gift you can wrap…
Ready?
Invest in a doula.
Yep. A doula. Birth support that you can rely on. Postpartum support that will genuinely nourish you.
Studies show having a doula present at your birth reduces chances of unwanted interventions, lowers cesarean rates and significantly improves the way families feel about their birth, even if it didn’t go to plan.
Starting off with support and nourishment means that will set you up in parenting.
Starting feeling supported, listened to, respected and nurtured is a heck of a lot better than feeling emotionally exhausted, ignored and violated.
So find a doula in your local area
Message them
And give your partner the gift of genuine support. She will remember it for a lot longer than flowers and chocolate, I promise!
And if your local area is Helensburgh, drop me a message. I’m offering 15% off 2 doula support packages booked by the 31st of March – payment plans are available.
Flowers wilt, chocolate melts, doulas bring both, along with the support that impacts you for life.
In this day and age, when we have so much information on our phones and computers, do we really need a post talking about what books to read when pregnant?
I’d argue, that because of the fact we have so much information at our fingertips, it is even more important that posts like this exist.
So, if you are pregnant, here’s my doula-y advice on what to read.
A feel good, make you laugh novel – whatever looks great, pick it up at the charity shop, or treat yourself in waterstones. Get a book that cracks you up, read it, love it, read it again!
A book that makes you cry – in the best, wholesome, I’m so deeply attached to the characters and their story kind of way. If it’s a series, even better – binge them!
A love story – not smutt, though of course, go for that too if you fancy it – but I’m talking about a Wuthering Heights, or It Ends With Us kind of energy.
And once you’re done with those … then pick up the birthy books.
Because your whole life is about to tailspin, where it’s so easy to consume all things birth and parenting, and entirely forget to read for joy and laughter too. Reading books is one of the best ways to support a generation of readers, and if you do it while pregnant, you’ll (hopefully) keep reading, albeit less initially, while your babies grow.
Birthy books I’d recommend – honestly, take this with a large spoonful of salt, because while books are great, during pregnancy, I genuinely believe the best education comes from community.
Placenta – The Forgotten Chakra
The Oxytocin Factor
Birthing From Within
Parenting Books I’d say are worth it in the first year –
Let them Eat Dirt – B Brett Finlay & Marie-Claire Arrieta
Playful Parenting – Lawrence J Cohen
Extraordinary Parenting – Eloise Rickman
There’s many more. I’ve read some great books in the last few years that have shifted so much of the way I look at our bodies, our society, our children. These are important conversations, and if you really want to dig deep into it, do so. But be careful not to spiral. Don’t learn so much that your brain takes over and your body is put on mute. Don’t try to get it right or perfect so hard that you end up shaming yourself when human nature kicks in and things change.
There is no right or wrong birth. There is no perfect book that will tell you all the things you’re wondering. But there are many books that will help, and many that will allow you to travel the world from the comfort of your sofa – which is as important if not more so than squishing facts into your brain.
Learn from people, in person, in conversation, in community. Indulge in books. Because reading should be for pleasure as much as anything.
A few weeks ago I had the honour of going to the woods, sharing tea and crafting a story of vulnerability, sacredness, and a reclamation of power. Before we started, we spoke a while and the depths of this shoot were clear, it wasn’t just about getting naked in the woods … it was sacred. It was about self love, worthiness, joy, grief, pain and pride. It was a reclamation.
I delivered the gallery for these the other day, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how the images I caught tell a story. A story in many ways about power.
It isn’t that we lose our power as women, but often that it is reshaped, molded, and flattened into something that just doesn’t align with us anymore.
This shoot was a reclamation of that power
A “fuck you” to the idea of staying small
An full body acknowledgement that we are sacred just because we exist
A rebirthing
Because while we cognitively can ‘do the work’ and tell ourselves that we’re okay, there is an incredible shift that comes when we lie in the earth and let ourselves be held in nature.
These images are a few from our time dancing in creation; they are deep, profound storytelling images… and I’m really proud of them.
From a shedding of layers to a reflection on what’s been learned, and dancing into new directions on your own terms. These images are in more than one way a message, to give ourselves the grace of processing, to honour the time and journeys we go on, and to ultimately find ways to put on our armour and take the roads less travelled – because there we can find our magick.
As always, thank you for reading, it means so much to me that you’re here.
A couple weekends ago we went down south to visit family and celebrate my MILs birthday. Naturally there’s a WhatsApp chat where all the photos were shared from the weekend, and one of the gems captured was this one.
It’s me yeah, showing one of my nieces how to use the camera. Not for the first time, she expressed a little interest and it was a real moment of joy to see her get excited about it. A little later, one of my nephews really didn’t want to get in the big family photo so I asked him to help me before we both ran in for it. It might have only been a second but it was a big win for me to share something with him, because I really don’t get enough time to know these family members deeply.
Anyway, when I saw this photo I had a memory come up, and then my husband asked me when I first knew I wanted to be behind the camera instead of in front of it. I stumped me, because I really don’t think there was a specific moment I knew, it’s just been something I grew into.
There were a lot of us over the weekend. Lots of adults, and lots of kids ranging from teens to my tiny baby. It was loud and busy, so of course my camera came with. Over the years it’s always been by my side for big days out, or when I know there’s the potential of overwhelm, because getting creative is a way for me to connect with myself and regulate my nervous system.
I’ve done this for as long as I can remember, from years watching my dad do the same as I grew up, it was a natural progression for me to get involved with him and hide behind the camera too. Of course, now I understand that’s what I’m doing, but back then, it was just what felt good in my body. It was a beautiful way to connect with him over art and it was an easy excuse to take a minute in a crowd.
My dad would bring his camera to group outings or on the family holiday. He’d snap pictures of us out with friends or document events on Gibraltars National Day while everyone else mixed in the crowd. I remember looking for him, and knowing 9 times out of 10, I’d find him behind the camera. Back then (ancient times I know!) he would upload the images onto the computer and spend hours creating slide shows of our adventures, and then sharing it a week or few later with everyone who was there. Now with my own kids and the progress of phone tech, when we see him, I can guarantee I’ll have beautiful photos sent to me without the wait. He’s visiting in a few weeks, and I’ve asked him to bring his camera.
I have picked mine up and put it down so many times over the year, finding that when life feels overwhelming, I can get creative and artistic behind my lens. Now I’m intentionally choosing to do it both when things feel good and when they don’t. Last week I had the privilege of capturing a birthday celebration walk, and this week I’m excited to be trying something new with a friend (watch this space for an update). Asking my dad to bring his camera is another one of those intentional moves.
I think about how my kids see me, hiding behind the camera and creating stories with it. It looks different to the way my dad did, but it’s something I am proud to be passing on. The chance to pause, reflect, capture and create … and then get those creations printed out to tell stories on our walls.
The day we ate apples on the beach after driving 10 hours Working together on a woodland walkThe day we got ready for babyBath time stories
And so many more…
I thought about how when I started to say that I was “hiding behind the camera” I felt a sense of guilt and shame, but actually, I’m not hiding selfishly. I’m gifting myself pauses, I’m gifting myself creation spaces, and I’m gifting my future self the magick captured in moments we’d otherwise forget.
Supporting you from pregnancy to parenting 