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What Is The Point in Having a Doula when I’ve got a Birth Partner?

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

When you birth your baby, you can often choose to have 2 support people with you during your labour and birth.

Sometimes you’ll only opt for the 1, or sometimes, if you’re at home, you’ll have more.

Lots of people who hire a doula already have a birth partner, whether thats a romantic partner, best friend, sister or whoever it is they want as support.

Recently, I got asked why anyone would choose have a doula as well? “It’s not like they’re alone” was one of the things that came up.

And true, sometimes, doulas support clients birthing alone. Sometimes we support whole families, with partners and kids and even pets around.

But as a doula, hiring me isn’t about tick box support.

We don’t only work in 1 specific way or not at all.

We adapt.

When you choose to work with a doula, you are booking in for someone who provides grounded, adaptable support, not just for you in the throws of labour, but also for your partner.

For partners to have a nervous system to co-regulate with. For them to have someone to look at when the nosies you make start to change. To have someone who can tag in and bring you lucozade while they nap. To be able to nod and confirm that they are also witnessing the miracle you’re living through.

You might hire a doula for the anetenatal prep and postpartum support.

You might hire them for their presence through birth.

You might hire them because you’re terrified and know your partner is not going to know what to do.

It really doesn’t matter. Whatever you choose, a doula is a support system. One that’s in your corner… not pushing an agenda.

So, why hire a doula when you already have a birth partner?

Because unless that birth partner has the equivalent of an autistic person’s special interest level of learnimg birth, you’re going to need to do a fair amount of learning along the way.

You’re baby isn’t going to get a second chance at birth… so making sure you are supported, you feel nourished, you all feel joyful… that’s the role of a doula. It isn’t about taking over from your birth partner, it’s about working with them, being a  grounding presence, and showing up, the way you ask us to.

As ever, thanks for reading,

Rohana

What to Gift your Pregnant Partner for Mother’s Day

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

Flowers and nice – but they wilt

Chocolate gets eaten and forgotten

Jewellery often ends up in a box.

So what gifts make an impact?

If you’re pregnant, send this to your partner! If you’re the partner, keep reading. I’d love to suggest one of the best, most thoughtful, lasting gifts you can buy for Mother’s Day.

One that’s effect will ripple out a hundredfold in the years to come.

It isn’t a gift you can wrap…

Ready?

Invest in a doula.

Yep. A doula. Birth support that you can rely on. Postpartum support that will genuinely nourish you.

Studies show having a doula present at your birth reduces chances of unwanted interventions, lowers cesarean rates and significantly improves the way families feel about their birth, even if it didn’t go to plan.

Starting off with support and nourishment means that will set you up in parenting.

Starting feeling supported, listened to, respected and nurtured is a heck of a lot better than feeling emotionally exhausted, ignored and violated.

So find a doula in your local area

Message them

And give your partner the gift of genuine support. She will remember it for a lot longer than flowers and chocolate, I promise!

And if your local area is Helensburgh, drop me a message. I’m offering 15% off 2 doula support packages booked by the 31st of March – payment plans are available.

Flowers wilt, chocolate melts, doulas bring both, along with the support that impacts you for life.

World Book Day Doula Reading Rec’s

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

In this day and age, when we have so much information on our phones and computers, do we really need a post talking about what books to read when pregnant?

I’d argue, that because of the fact we have so much information at our fingertips, it is even more important that posts like this exist.

So, if you are pregnant, here’s my doula-y advice on what to read.

  • A feel good, make you laugh novel – whatever looks great, pick it up at the charity shop, or treat yourself in waterstones. Get a book that cracks you up, read it, love it, read it again!
  • A book that makes you cry – in the best, wholesome, I’m so deeply attached to the characters and their story kind of way. If it’s a series, even better – binge them!
  • A love story – not smutt, though of course, go for that too if you fancy it – but I’m talking about a Wuthering Heights, or It Ends With Us kind of energy.

And once you’re done with those … then pick up the birthy books.

Because your whole life is about to tailspin, where it’s so easy to consume all things birth and parenting, and entirely forget to read for joy and laughter too. Reading books is one of the best ways to support a generation of readers, and if you do it while pregnant, you’ll (hopefully) keep reading, albeit less initially, while your babies grow.

Birthy books I’d recommend – honestly, take this with a large spoonful of salt, because while books are great, during pregnancy, I genuinely believe the best education comes from community.

  • Placenta – The Forgotten Chakra
  • The Oxytocin Factor
  • Birthing From Within

Parenting Books I’d say are worth it in the first year –

  • Let them Eat Dirt – B Brett Finlay & Marie-Claire Arrieta
  • Playful Parenting – Lawrence J Cohen
  • Extraordinary Parenting – Eloise Rickman

There’s many more. I’ve read some great books in the last few years that have shifted so much of the way I look at our bodies, our society, our children. These are important conversations, and if you really want to dig deep into it, do so. But be careful not to spiral. Don’t learn so much that your brain takes over and your body is put on mute. Don’t try to get it right or perfect so hard that you end up shaming yourself when human nature kicks in and things change.

There is no right or wrong birth. There is no perfect book that will tell you all the things you’re wondering. But there are many books that will help, and many that will allow you to travel the world from the comfort of your sofa – which is as important if not more so than squishing facts into your brain.

Learn from people, in person, in conversation, in community. Indulge in books. Because reading should be for pleasure as much as anything.

As ever, with love,

Rohana x

Year of the Fire Horse: Momentum, Medicine & the Mothers Who Carry It

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

Today begins the Year of the Fire Horse.

And of course, everyone is talking about it.

New beginnings. Momentum. Goals. Big leaps. Bold moves. All the things.

But what if you’re pregnant?

What if you’re stepping into a season that asks you to slow down in order to keep up rather  than speed up?

What if you’re in a space right now where everything feels too big, too much, all the changes and fears, all the hopes and dreams, and the idea of stepping back feels impossible. If that’s you, I hear it – its HARD. Especially with so much unknown. But this baby brings medicine. Their fire is growing in you, so slowing down is vital, for both of you.


The Truth About Fire Horse Babies

Fire Horse babies are special.

The last Year of the Fire Horse was 1966 — and in places like Japan, it was surrounded by deep superstition. There was a long-held belief that girls born in a Fire Horse year would grow up to be headstrong, fierce, and difficult to marry. So much so that birth rates dropped as families chose to avoid having babies that year.

Let that sink in.

An entire generation feared because of their potential fire.

Learning this now, I can’t help but feel that Fire Horse babies are not something to fear — they are an essential ingredient in a changing world. The very qualities once labeled “too much” are exactly what we are being called into now: courage, independence, conviction, heat.

Maybe the world has always needed them, but now more than ever.


If You’re Pregnant Right Now


Being pregnant in a Fire Horse year might mean you’re feeling everything more deeply, and I truly believe that that’s not weakness – it’s your inner wisdom surfacing.

Pregnancy cracks us open. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. It strips away what no longer fits, heightens intuition, amplifies truth. We can be incredibly creative, and especially sensitive, things that serve us long after our babies are earthside.

It’s not meant to be easy, but it shouldn’t be lonely or destructive either.

We are social mammals. We are designed for community. For touch. For shared stories. For being witnessed as we grow the next generation inside our bodies.

If you’re questioning everything: good. You should.

The systems surrounding birth and motherhood are not serving women the way they should. Many of them exhaust us, rush us, silence us. So think carefully about who you want in your space when you birth. Who holds your nervous system steady? Who honors your intuition? Who sees you as wise and trustworthy? That choice can change everything.

You deserve to be nurtured.
You deserve to be held.
You deserve to feel safe as you open the portal and birth your earthling, whatever that looks like for you.

The Fire Horse Runs, But that is not all

Yes, the Fire Horse runs. It carries momentum. It brings heat and acceleration. This is something social media keeps showing us. But horses are also deeply attuned creatures. Their electromagnetic field is 5 times stronger than ours, which means they amplify what’s already present.

So if your pregnancy is asking for stillness… for rest… for self-compassion… The Fire Horse isn’t fighting that.

It’s doubling down on it.

Momentum doesn’t always mean speed.
Sometimes it means depth. Sometimes it means small, consistent commitment. Sometimes it means rooting down, and trusting that the rise will come.

The Medicine of a Fire Horse Baby

Reading all this, and sitting with it, I believe that if you are pregnant right now, your Fire Horse baby may be the medicine you didn’t know you needed. And honestly, medicine you probably don’t want right now.

Because medicine isn’t always comfortable -it stretches us, burning away illusions, demanding growth, and asking us to trust.

Can you trust yourself in ways you never have before?

It’s hard and we resist the unknown, we seek the comfort, even when it holds us back – and these new babies are gently, but firmly (or in some cases wildly!) forcing us to stop, slow down, take the bitter pill and wake up. It feels icky and hard, but the lessons will ripple well into parenthood.

The work you do now — even the quiet, invisible work of resting when the world says run — will pay dividends in the months and years to come.

Fire Horse energy isn’t just about chasing the horizon.

It’s about becoming strong enough to hold it.

So let the energy grow with your baby… lean in, and reach out – seek support, stay the path. I hope your fire horse baby brings all the joy, strength and fierceness that was feared all those years ago – because goodness knows we need it!

With love, Rohana x


Mothers Day Mini Photoshoots

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

It’s already that time of year again – January yes, but we are thinking ahead.

Mothers day is in 52 days, or 52 sleeps if you count them with littles. That’s really not long!

Last year, I invited families to book in for a mini photoshoot celebrating mothers. We had mum friends, a mum who’s partner was a away, a dad who got involved too and the most beautiful little details in each one.

I was honoured to capture a snippet of these stories, and to share the beauty of each of these mothers, because often in the thick of it, you don’t see just how beautiful your interactions are.

Some of my favourite were the cheeky smiles that go to their eyes, and the joy in each mum as they held, walked and talked with their growing babies.

I won’t share the ones of their little faces, those are private.

But I can share these.

And now, I’m inviting you. If you’re local to Helensburgh or Rhu (or can get here), I’d love to capture your beautiful family and celebrate you.

Mums to be, mums of 1, mums of many, grandmas… and dads/grandads if they want to, all welcome to come create some magick. I know all too well that these moments are fleeting, even when they don’t seem to be.

Get in touch and we’ll book your date 💕

You deserve to be seen – not just in a selfie!

With love,

Rohana

Details:

Dates: 31st Jan, 7th Feb, 21st Feb.

£60 – a full gallery, 5 digital downloads, or the option to upgrade. 

Social media safe (no faces) photos included.

Closing 2025 – A Quick Powerful Practice for Parents

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

And so 2025 is ending. What a year it has been.

A 9 in numerology, the number of completion.

A snake year (not quite over yet – that’s February time), the shedding of old skin.

A wood year, for personal growth, learning and nurturing.

As a parent of young kids, celebrating New Year’s Eve probably doesn’t look like massive parties or midnight countdowns, but that doesn’t mean we can’t mark the occasion. In fact, to me, it means we can toast the new calendar year with more perspective and gentleness because there’s no party to rush to.

So, here’s what I’m doing to ring in the new year, it’s a 3 minute practice (per child) but you can set your own timer or free flow depending on what works for you. You may want a journal but don’t need one.

  • Think about your child. Bring their smile, laugh, love, joy, compassion, all the beautiful things to life in your mind. Picture this version of them – and out loud or on paper (I prefer paper) write down your wish for them this year.
  • Then, bring to mind all the hardest moments. The grumps, the attitude, anger, outbursts etc. Picture this version of them, and say aloud or write down your wish for them this year.
  • Lastly, think about yourself. A year from now, with your child. What do you want to feel? How does your relationship look? Once more, say outloud or write it down, a nod to the year ahead in your parenting journey with them.

Setting these intentions for our children is powerful. Because doing so sets the stage for the way we will relate to them. It doesn’t take long, but it ripples out.

I do this for each of my 4 kids and then I do a collective one too, so it takes about 15 minutes altogether. Between everything, finding 15 mintues is still a challenge some days, but today, its a priority.

That said, it makes a point of being a great practice when you’re deep in the midsts of busyness and finding minutes is precious. So fingers crossed you can find a few minutes too. 

I hope you have a beautiful New Year. Thanks for sticking with me.

Here’s to 2026!

Xox Rohana

Why I don’t rock my baby to sleep

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

I’m holding my one year old and thinking about how I very rarely have to walk him around for sleep.

Before, when I just had my first baby, I thought I needed to help him sleep all the time, especially when all I would read about wake windows and dropping naps etc was that if he didn’t sleep, I was doing something wrong.

I thought that I needed to hold him and walk him and be with him. I thought if I left him alone, I’d be traumatising him. So I stayed.

I with him, but all that did was stress me out. Of course, he mirrored my stress. I didn’t understand that then, but knowing now about mirror neurons, I can see that those hours where whether or not he was tired, sleep would elude the both of us as my stress levels rose wondering what he hell I’d missed or done wrong to mess up bedtime that day. I spent hours walking him around, holding him awkwardly, both of us crying, and damaging my deeply unhealed postpartum body and spirit as a result.

From the very start my firstborn didn’t love sleep… and now, he only loves it when it’s time to wake up!

I look back and see that I was trying to force him to sleep by rocking and singing and doing all the things instead of just relaxing and being with him. This wasn’t because I enjoyed it, I just felt like it was what I should be doing – it was because I didn’t want to face the feelings of inadequacy that having a baby who doesn’t sleep would bring.

And now, as I hold my nearly one year old, my fourth baby I’m so much more relaxed. I don’t really care when he sleeps, just that he does and that he feels safe until he’s ready, whether that’s with me or more recently with his dad. It’s made such a difference to slowly, the more kids we’ve had, let all those expectations go.

I hope that my youngest baby will be more secure and comfortable, while simultaneously work through the guilt I feel about how much I didn’t know with my first and also feel proud of everything I’ve learned. If I could go back and tell the version of me with just 1 kid anything, it would be to relax, to just fucking relax. Honestly, the amount of time I spent stressed out, worrying that I was doing it wrong, and worrying what other people thought and how I should be, and whether I was doing it the way the book said, and the podcast said, and all the things I must have passed so much stress to him. You don’t know what you don’t know though, so here we are – learning. Undoing the stress of those first few years with gentle persistence and support. I can’t change the past, but I can support him to process it; and show up for where we are now.

So I won’t rock them to sleep. I won’t pace. I won’t force sleep right now. And hopefully by doing that, I am laying the foundations for a calmer association with it all too.

As ever, thanks for reading,

Rohana x

Pregnancy to Postpartum – A Gathering in Helensburgh

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

A while back a lady called Karen reached out to me about birthwork. She’s a doula and wanted to connect.

We met at the park and as kids played and we talked, we dreamed up the idea of circles where parents gather, sharing collective wisdoms, learning from each other, maybe even sharing some ritual – it was a wild, beautiful dream, something I’ve been quieting musing on since moving to Scotland last year.

Fast forward to now, we scouted locations, crafted an idea and have hosted our 2nd pregnancy to postpartum circle in Helensburgh. The latest one focused on the theme of movement and gravity, and we weaved together demonstrations, explanations and a beautiful conversation about the relevance of our theme right through pregnancy, in birth and into those early postpartum moments.

Working with birth balls, shawls, a doll stolen from my children’s toybox and of course a handmade crochet breast, we spent Friday evening with a group of beautiful ladies, many of whom brought their chosen birth partners too.

From the way we sit impacting baby’s position, to birth preferences and the impact on baby, our conversations spanned a wide range of topics. The idea of big babies, the way partners can feel they are being most supportive, the way we can make use of tools we have access to and the reality that every birth is different – there is no right or wrong way to bring a baby earthside – we loved sharing and exploring what felt relevant at the time.

We probably could have spent a few hours more chatting away!

But yes, our gathering, a circle of growing families sharing and learning together, felt like such a gorgeous success. I’m already looking forward to the next one.

I read that pregnancy is the gestation of the mother, and that ultimately babies are only born once… both of these things feel truer now than they ever have. Education is essential, community is how we survive, and the next generation deserve that. How lucky we are to be able to have even a tiny part in it.

Until next update,

Rohana x

Why Neurodivergent Birth Matters – A Book Review

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

Well, I’ll start by saying I’ve not been asked to do this, but I wanted to because I’ve just finished the book for a second time and, though I knew it would be fantastic, it was even better having time to process and integrate the words of wisdom shared.

Why Neurodivergent Birth Matters is one of the most affirming things I’ve read, as someone who has birthed myself and supported pregnant and postpartum families who are neurodivergent.

It wasn’t until my 3rd baby was born that I realised I myself am neurodivergent and the rollercoaster of learning and learning that came after has been tumultuous. Understanding that actually the overwhelm or preference to process information differently is actually part of the way our brains work is something that should be available to everyone right from the start of their perinatal journeys.

Having this book is revolutionary.

The validation it contains as well as the advice, beautifully chunked into sections for parents and birthworkers makes it so accessible to read.

Victoria writes of birth as a mountain and this analogy is woven throughout the book, with reference to our supports, our equipment, our trajectory and the JOY that comes with different steps too. Just as she talks about the sherpa on the mountain, this little book is it’s own sherpa.

She writes “There is something extremely frightening about feeling isolated in our experiences of pregnancy, birth and early parenting. Perhaps it is grounded in the knowledge that millions of people before us have done this, so why are we struggling”.

This is exactly how I have felt at so many points of my own parenting journey, often wondering how I can support others and feel so in the thick of it myself. But reading this book has brought so many moments of my early parenting journey to light with compassion. It isn’t because we don’t know. It’s because our brains need support in a way that the systems around us don’t always (or often) accommodate, assuming we all have similar experiences rather than individualised ones. Thankfully that is changing, and this book is one of the currents causing this changing tide.

Towards the end of the book she writes “we can have all the gear but no idea” using the mountain analogy again. It resonated deeply.

We can have ALL the information, but unless we understand it and feel supported, it isn’t going to help.

This book helps.

If you’re neurodivergent or supporting someone who is in their perinatal experiences, this book is absolute gold. Read it, annotate it, learn from it, and share it! I intend to too.

Much love,

Rohana x