Fortnightly Photos VIII

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

My mum and brother visited last week and we had a day in Glasgow; I’ve babysat my neighbours kid and got much more comfortable in my newfound friendship here. I am getting ready to say bye to H who has not yet left on patrol but will be going soon, and packing for our Christmas with my parents.

The camera has been out, but I’ve had no clients and truthfully I haven’t pushed because it’s been so busy! I know once we hit 2019, I will focus on my business again more fully. Until then, I’m working on baby cuddles, preparing to start a proper bedtime routine and  thinking about weaning. Life is busy and we are loving it!

Here are a few of our photos this week, my brother features in quite a few of them:

DSC_0776DSC_1071DSC_1101DSC_1038DSC_0792DSC_1097DSC_0730

Thanks for keeping up!

I will check in again before Christmas if possible. 

Xoxo

R

Abhyasa vairagyabhyam tannirodhah – Sutra 1:12

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

As part of my Raj Yoga TT, I am writing essays to expand my knowledge of yogic philosophies. This is the 2nd essay that I wrote. I have a few more and am currently working on essay 5. I want to have them on my blog to allow ease of access, and to help anyone who comes across it.

Happy reading,

Xoxo

R

Sutra 1:12

Abhyasa vairagyabhyam tannirodhah

These mental modifications are restrained by practice and non-attachment.

Figure 1

scalesabhyasa

Sutra 1:13 – Of these two, effort towards steadiness of mind is practice.
Sutra 1:14 – Practice becomes firmly grounded when well attended to for a long time, without a break and in all earnestness.
Sutra 1:15 – The consciousness of self-mastery in one who is free from craving for objects seen or heard about is non-attachment
Sutra 1:16 – When there is non-thirst for even the gunas (constituents of Nature) due to realisation of the Purusha (true Self), that is supreme non-attachment.

Introduction:
In Sutra 1:12, Sri Patanjali instructs his readers to work on their minds and thought patterns through practice and non-attachment. Sutras 13, 14, 15 and 16 expand on this one instruction, providing more detail and allowing a better understanding of what Patanjali means by Abhyasa and Vairagya. Both concepts (practice and non-attachment) are inextricably linked, allowing the yogi to restrain their minds when a balance between the two is found (Swami Prabhavananda & Isherwood, 1981, p. 28; Satchidananda, 1990, p.18-19). A cornerstone of yogic practice, Sutra 1:12 provides a window for yoga to come “off the mat” and into daily life. This essay will examine the concepts of practice and non-attachment, focusing first on Sutra 1:12 before turning attention to analysis Bahasa and then Vairagya. Finally, the essay will conclude with a personal interpretation of these sutras, to demonstrate an understanding that goes beyond mere research and explanatory words.

Sutra 1:12
According to Rizopoulos (2017), both practice and non-attachment can serve as a roadmap to aid navigation through life. In her explanation, she says that the basis of Sutra 1:12 is that the efforts made in practice should be determined, but that in equal measure, the outcome of those efforts should not be of concern, i.e. we should not be attached to them. If this is achieved, the mental medications that exist in our minds (vrittis) will lessen. Gannon (2011) expands on this, asserting that through abhyasa and vairagya we can identify with our inner self, essentially echoing Sutra 1:16. The suggestions given to perfect the efforts made are similar to those explained by Swami Satchidananda in his commentary of Sutras 1:13-16 (1990, pp.18-30). Swami Satchidananda makes these sutras accessible, referring to temples and churches as social centre’s and demystifying the idea that through renouncing worldly goods, there is no enjoyment in life. The explanations given do not give false hope that mastery over the mind through abhyasa and vairagya is easy, but rather, provide suggestions for the reader to apply them in their own way.

Abhyasa:
Practice, Sri Patanjali says must continue “for a long time, without a break and in all earnestness” (Swami Satchidananda, 1990, p.20). The abstract nature of Sutra 1:14 allows the student to interpret and apply it in their own way. The long time necessary may feel daunting at first, but if determined, a habit can be created, which for a keen student may lead to a lifetime commitment to their practice. This practice can be a daily meditation but is not limited to it; many yogis commit to a vegetarian diet, or fasting, others to Karma or Bhakti yoga. The commitment of time demonstrates the earnestness of the student, as illustrated by Swami Satchidananda’s commentary about the amount of births one must go through before reaching heaven (1990, p.21).
There is no shortage of ways to begin establishing a committed practice, and often starting with one leads to the accumulation of more over years. Bryant (2013) suggests that cultivating a Hatha Yoga practice is pathway to train the mind towards abhyasa, because the disciple of rolling out a yoga mat and moving the body is created. Hatha yoga, especially within the Western world is often the gateway for people into the more spiritual side of yoga, alongside the science of the mind.

Vairagya:
Non-attachment from sensory objects is referred to by Sri Patanjali as “self-mastery” (Swami Satchidananda, 1990, p.23). In his commentary, Swami Satchidananda warns that non-attachment is not the same as indifference, but rather it is the ability to let go of the mind’s desires. This ‘letting go’ takes a lot of work, hence its relationship abhyasa. Gannon (2011) explains that vairagya is “facing something – even positive – and not identifying with it,” because while the mind may relate to something and allow it to be defining, the inner, true Self, is not defined by sensory experiences. However, beautifully worded by Malossi (2013), part of the human condition is to cling onto what we like and shun what we don’t like. Ironically this is what leads to most of human suffering as well; the inability to ‘let go’ of our clinging and aversion often leads to mental battles that if unresolved, lead to physical tension. Swami and Isherwood emphasise also that the practice of non-attachment should not be seen as a “kind of sel-torture” but rather the key to freedom.

My Understanding:
Sutra’s 1:12-16 provide us with the necessary tools to work on our minds and move towards a state of peace in our true Self. However, finding the balance between dedication to practice and working on lessening attachment is particularly difficult. Personally, I am goal driven, so I will put the effort in and practice wholeheartedly for what I want to achieve, but I am determined to see the result gained and am attached to it. This determination has stood me in good stead for example, in completing my degree, but has also let me down when results for specific assignments felt unjust and made me upset. The idea of sitting with pain, or joy or any emotion that exists, understanding that emotion and then letting it pass is a beautiful one on paper, but one I have found increasingly challenging. I am better at recognising negative emotions, and often I attempt to let go of resentment or ill-feeling, but it is a practice that seems forgotten in the ‘good times’. In my meditation practice, I often pull my mind back from making ‘To Do’ lists or mulling over events that have occurred. When I started, I couldn’t sit for more than 1 minute in quietness, now, provided my son allows me the time, I can sit for 5-8 minutes, though my thoughts do run away at times. To aid myself, I focus on an image of the Om, or use mantra.
I understand these 5 Sutras to mean that as a student, I should hold myself steady in my convictions and be determined in what I aim to accomplish, while also understanding that the results of my work are not mine to hold and lock away, but rather that they exist independently from me. These Sutras tell me that the journey towards the goal, of graduating, of more sleep, of a detailed plan, or anything else, is much more important that my arrival at that place. For this, the story of Narada telling the yogi he had as many births as the leaves on a tree before he met the lord, comes to mind, because it encompasses everything I am striving for: patience, acceptance and joy.

References:

Fortnightly Photos VII

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

Hello!

I started this at the end of summer and although winter isn’t here yet, I am definitely feeling the cold! I am trying to keep up with everything on my to-do list, but often I find the list gets longer and longer and I am less able to tick things off.

One thing I have kept up with is my photos! I had my first paid clients this month – 3 of them! And I have learned a lot, and really enjoyed myself. I have invested a lot into this business and am looking at investing more – both of myself personally and financially.  But baby steps, I have found myself incredibly busy just doing mum things so I am going to give myself a few weeks of taking it slow before upping any game.

I converted my living room entirely into a studio, thanks to my lovely husband agreeing to move all our furniture around, and so now I can put up my backdrops and take them down as needed. It’s made a big difference!

Here are my  top photos from the last couple weeks:

These are from our family photoshoot – I love them and have made our Christmas cards with them too!

These are from shoots with other people as well, and I have a couple with myself and Theo Prana in them from our practice sessions. I have accumulated a LOT of props now, for sitter and newborn sessions and I have been learning a lot about them so I am educated on what I am offering.

In honesty, while I haven’t blogged and I have let this slide a lot, I haven’t given up on this project, and I haven’t let myself put the camera down so I am proud of that. I love the studio sessions, and it makes so much sense in the winter because it is so very cold, but I still love the outdoor sessions most, and I know that there will be lots of fun when we do venture to some muddy fields, or our on an adventure with the camera; just need to wait and see what happens.

I’ll try to post on time at the end of this month.

Thanks for sticking with me,

Xoxox

R

Fortnightly Photos VI

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

Hey,

I am backdating a couple of posts because my manic life has meant that I completely lost track of time and space, and my dedication to myself and this blog has been at a level 0. I have been taking photos, of my son, my husband and clients, but finding the time to write hasn’t been a priority, and so I have let is slide.

My last post was in the middle of October, and so now, these are my top photos from the end of October.

It was a busy month, after Theo Prana’s sickness bug, H’s friend Charley came up to visit, and H had a few surprise days off work so we had a few really good days out. He went away for a few days afterwards, and since we were preparing for his sea time, I decided to try to do a “See you soon Daddy” photoshoot with bubba – I even made DIY bunting!

The end of month has zoomed round and now we are over halfway through November, which has also been a busy month for photos – but that is for my next post.

Thanks for sticking with me,

xoxo

R

Fortnightly Photos V

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

This is a full week late now but I am still catching up from Theo Prana’s sickness bug. We had lots of cuddles and days indoors last week and the weekly schedule got away from me.

For my own benefit, I am posting my 5th round of (almost) fortnightly photos, as I learn things and watch myself grow.

Here is this batch:

DSC_1112

DSC_1137DSC_2016DSC_2149DSC_2173DSC_3307

Thanks for keeping up with me if you are!

Xox

R

Student Motherhood and Me; Guest Post: Diane Watt

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

Hello,

I am collecting stories of student motherhood, to normalise the experience and to help new student mums (whether at school, college, university or later in life), feel that the struggles they go through are normal; something I think I’d have benefited from in my own experiences. Therefore, I am reaching out and asking for help – if you are/were a student mum – or dad! – then please contact me, I would love to hear your story, and share it if you’ll let me.

A huge thank you to Diane who I met with her lovely children a few weeks ago. She, like me lived in Portsmouth and graduated from the University of Portsmouth and is now working on her own small business. 

Without further ado, here is her Q&A about student mum life: 

Introduce yourself:

I’m Diane, a mum of three to Kaiya, 7, Skye, 4 and Lennox also 4 (that’s right – double trouble!). I was born in Zimbabwe, and spent 10 years in Portsmouth, where I met my partner and had my three beautiful children. I now live in the Helensburgh, a beautiful town on the west coast of Scotland.

How did you feel finding out you were pregnant? What were the circumstances?

I found out I was pregnant in the summer after my first year of university was complete. It was a HUGE shock as it wasn’t planned. I remember crying in Asda toilets after taking a test as I hadn’t had my period that day. It sounds strange to even think about a test so early on but I could set my clock by my cycles, so had a feeling something wasn’t right. I had been dating my boyfriend at the time for a year and a half, he was in the navy so was constantly away and my family lived in other towns and cities and I still lived in a shared house with my uni mates. It was very daunting and scary trying to figure out living arrangements and how to get organised for this little bundle arriving in a few months. I had to figure out what to do with my studies. I decided to continue with my course up until 2 weeks before my due date. My course tutor was incredibly supportive in terms of extra tutor time to help me getting projects completed and allowing access to the studio earlier and later than scheduled times.

What was your pregnancy like? Were there any highlight moments or struggles? How did you cope?

I found the beginning of my pregnancy very difficult. Morning sickness took over and I could hardly eat in the first few months. I was tired all the time; I think trying to juggle a part time job (I was working up to 24 hrs a week) and university may have played a part in exhaustion too! My second trimester was more enjoyable, I had more energy and I discovered a lovely aquanatal class at my local leisure centre. I met my first group of mum friends and their support was invaluable! My partner was away for weeks at at time, so having friends going through pregnancy at similar stages  and for support was comforting. I managed to complete my second year of university 3 weeks before my due date. I found it so challenging; with morning sickness, tiredness, fainting in the studio and waddling in the library to complete my dissertation. I found that I was judged a lot, heavily pregnant, you do really stand out.

The first weeks of motherhood, what were they like?

Meeting my daughter Kaiya for the first time was incredible. I really enjoyed bonding and breastfeeding. Although I had made new mum friends, I did find it rather difficult with my friends; Some distanced themselves from me because I wasn’t the party girl going to student nights out. I had responsibility and someone who depends on me so I had to change my life and grow up. I think in my head I didn’t expect relationships to change but looking back, my real friends were right by my side through every stage.

Going back to study; did you want to? How did you feel? How did you juggle everything?

I went back to finish my last semester when Kaiya was 7 months old. I was really overwhelmed going back because everything was new, even though I knew the building and the tutors, I didn’t know anyone in the class. With everyone in their solid friendships of almost 3 years, I felt  very alone. I would often have lunch on my own in the studio while everyone was out. It would give me a chance to get more work done but I couldn’t help but feel left out. I found leaving Kaiya incredibly hard. I was still breastfeeding her so I would sometimes have to go to the nursery to feed her. She was in nursery 8 til 6, which is such a long time to leave her and I missed her terribly. I knew I only had to get through the next few months and work as hard as I can to finish. I had made a promise to myself that I would complete my degree and that’s what I did. Taking Kaiya to my graduation was one of the proudest moments of my life. I graduated with a BA Hons Fashion and Textiles with design and enterprise.

Where are you now in your life/studies? Do you have any plans for the future?

I have recently started a business working from home doing clothing alterations and sewing commissions. I’m working towards offering sewing classes in the future and helping to organise a design workshops with a fashion show at my children’s school. Further down the line I aspire to create a childrenswear brand, offering vintage inspired bespoke clothing.

Lastly, do you have any advice for student mums/dads?

My advice would be, take help whenever it’s offered. I can understand people feel the pressure to ‘do it all’. Its so easy to get stressed and worked up, you’ll be far more productive when you have more time on your hands, you’re less stressed and you’re well rested.

Thank’s for reading – please reach out if you have a story you’d like to share! 

Xox

R

Fortnightly Photos IV

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

Wow, the last 2 weeks have been insane! I have been doing photoshoots of kids around the local area now and have been non-stop editing and trying to up my game. I’m building my portfolio so as of yet this has all been free – I don’t mind one bit, I’ve loved it – but my god it’s an incredible amount of work to fit in only when baby sleeps! Watching different tutorials on YouTube for inspiration when I can, and practising as much as possible.

I now have a logo! And a business page, and am meeting a lady about starting an actual proper business tomorrow. Life feels like it’s going at warp speed!

Anyhow, here are my top 5 from recently… there are lots and lots more, but I’m keeping the ones on these blogs either family or close friends, so there are less to choose from then.

I’ll update this in a few weeks. Looking forward to seeing what they bring.

Xoxo

DSC_7544
This one needs a LOT of work I know, but he was helping me with all our stuff and I got the basket for smaller babies… couldn’t resist putting him in it!

I’ll update this in a few weeks. Looking forward to seeing what they bring.

Xoxo

R

Student Motherhood & Me: Guest Post by The MummyBou Chronicles

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

Hello,

I am collecting stories of student motherhood, to normalise the experience and to help new student mums (whether at school, college, university or later in life), feel that the struggles they go through are normal; something I think I’d have benefited from in my own experiences. Therefore, I am reaching out and asking for help – if you are/were a student mum – or dad! – then please contact me, I would love to hear your story, and share it if you’ll let me.

A huge thank you to Michaela, my first guest in this venture. Michaela has a fantastic blog called The MummyBou Chronicles where she blogs about motherhood, student motherhood, travel and much more. Once you’re done here, go check out her blog!

Without further ado, here is her Q&A about student mum life: 

—————————————————————————————————————————————–

Introduce yourself :

I’m Michaela, I’m a 28-year-old mum to Mayarna and wife to be to OJ. I live in a little town called Huddersfield and I have my own Events Management business called MJM Events Management. I have recently become an Independent Usborne Organiser and run Michaela’s Magical World of Tales.

How did you feel finding out you were pregnant? What were the circumstances?

I was over the moon to find out I was pregnant! Me and OJ had thought about trying, not realising I was already pregnant when we started (haha!). I had been out for a couples dinner and something told me the next morning to do a test. It was positive but I didn’t believe it until I went to the Doctors 2 weeks later. I had wanted to be a mum for as long as I can remember, so finding out I was pregnant was amazing news not just for me but OJ and both our families.

What was your pregnancy like? Were there any highlight moments or struggles? How did you cope?

My pregnancy was straightforward until roughly 6 months. I got pelvic girdle pain which was where my nerves were getting trapped from the pressure of my baby and my bones were pushing against each other. Some days I would seize up and couldn’t get out of bed. I was given a crutch to help me walk in the end of my pregnancy as it started to get bad. Plus it was winter time so the cold did not help.

But I loved my bump and I loved feeling my princess growing inside me and her kicks getting stronger each day. I also loved seeing her on the scans. That was awesome! Me and OJ were amazed every time to see just how active she was.

The first weeks of motherhood, what were they like?

The first weeks of motherhood were overwhelmingly emotional.

I knew I’d be tired but I felt like I’d been hit by a truck! I was absolutely drained, loss of appetite and felt very tender. Plus I was breastfeeding and my breast were super tender. I felt like I wasn’t coping at all and cried for nearly every day in the first month. I was overwhelmed by everything; my birth was long and tiring and I didn’t sleep for a week afterwards as I kept thinking about it and crying. But I had excellent support from OJ, my parents and my siblings and also my health visitor who was fantastic.

Going back to study; did you want to? How did you feel? How did you juggle everything?

In regards to studying, I decided I wanted to get my degree in Events Management so I could gain more experience in Events and open my own business. I started a distant learning online Access course whilst I was pregnant and took a 2 month break when I had my little girl. But it was overwhelming! The course was super hard and it was stressing me out. I recently realised that I don’t  need a degree to open my own business (the main reason I was going to university). I gave up my access course and I am now studying an online Start Your Own Business course which is perfect. I study for 2 hours a day when Mayarna sleeps and it’s so much more relaxed. Once I complete that I will do an online Events course instead which will be so much more suitable for me. Studying with a baby is difficult and I recommend having a good support system or time management skills because it is very easy to fall behind, as I know too well!

Where are you now in your life/studies? Do you have any plans for the future?

My future plans are to complete my studies and focus on building my business up. It’s not easy but I do it for my family and to carry out my dream.

Thank’s for reading – please reach out if you have a story you’d like to share! 

Xox

R

Fortnightly Photos III

| Rohana Aisha Dewfall

I’ve been very quiet on here recently, moved back home to Scotland and have been settling in. Photography wise though, I’m buzzing! I had my friend Gemma visit and model for me while she was over, and posted on a local Facebook asking if anyone would be willing to let me do some photoshoots with their kids for experience; I am now busy for 3 weeks!

I was overwhelmed initially but am incredibly excited. My first shoot is tomorrow.

The last 2 weeks have been intense and full of photographs. My top 10 are:

Thanks for keeping up with me. I’ll be back to regular blogging soon.

Xoxox

R