A while back a lady called Karen reached out to me about birthwork. She’s a doula and wanted to connect.
We met at the park and as kids played and we talked, we dreamed up the idea of circles where parents gather, sharing collective wisdoms, learning from each other, maybe even sharing some ritual – it was a wild, beautiful dream, something I’ve been quieting musing on since moving to Scotland last year.
Fast forward to now, we scouted locations, crafted an idea and have hosted our 2nd pregnancy to postpartum circle in Helensburgh. The latest one focused on the theme of movement and gravity, and we weaved together demonstrations, explanations and a beautiful conversation about the relevance of our theme right through pregnancy, in birth and into those early postpartum moments.
Working with birth balls, shawls, a doll stolen from my children’s toybox and of course a handmade crochet breast, we spent Friday evening with a group of beautiful ladies, many of whom brought their chosen birth partners too.
From the way we sit impacting baby’s position, to birth preferences and the impact on baby, our conversations spanned a wide range of topics. The idea of big babies, the way partners can feel they are being most supportive, the way we can make use of tools we have access to and the reality that every birth is different – there is no right or wrong way to bring a baby earthside – we loved sharing and exploring what felt relevant at the time.
We probably could have spent a few hours more chatting away!
But yes, our gathering, a circle of growing families sharing and learning together, felt like such a gorgeous success. I’m already looking forward to the next one.
I read that pregnancy is the gestation of the mother, and that ultimately babies are only born once… both of these things feel truer now than they ever have. Education is essential, community is how we survive, and the next generation deserve that. How lucky we are to be able to have even a tiny part in it.
Well, I’ll start by saying I’ve not been asked to do this, but I wanted to because I’ve just finished the book for a second time and, though I knew it would be fantastic, it was even better having time to process and integrate the words of wisdom shared.
Why Neurodivergent Birth Matters is one of the most affirming things I’ve read, as someone who has birthed myself and supported pregnant and postpartum families who are neurodivergent.
It wasn’t until my 3rd baby was born that I realised I myself am neurodivergent and the rollercoaster of learning and learning that came after has been tumultuous. Understanding that actually the overwhelm or preference to process information differently is actually part of the way our brains work is something that should be available to everyone right from the start of their perinatal journeys.
Having this book is revolutionary.
The validation it contains as well as the advice, beautifully chunked into sections for parents and birthworkers makes it so accessible to read.
Victoria writes of birth as a mountain and this analogy is woven throughout the book, with reference to our supports, our equipment, our trajectory and the JOY that comes with different steps too. Just as she talks about the sherpa on the mountain, this little book is it’s own sherpa.
She writes “There is something extremely frightening about feeling isolated in our experiences of pregnancy, birth and early parenting. Perhaps it is grounded in the knowledge that millions of people before us have done this, so why are we struggling”.
This is exactly how I have felt at so many points of my own parenting journey, often wondering how I can support others and feel so in the thick of it myself. But reading this book has brought so many moments of my early parenting journey to light with compassion. It isn’t because we don’t know. It’s because our brains need support in a way that the systems around us don’t always (or often) accommodate, assuming we all have similar experiences rather than individualised ones. Thankfully that is changing, and this book is one of the currents causing this changing tide.
Towards the end of the book she writes “we can have all the gear but no idea” using the mountain analogy again. It resonated deeply.
We can have ALL the information, but unless we understand it and feel supported, it isn’t going to help.
This book helps.
If you’re neurodivergent or supporting someone who is in their perinatal experiences, this book is absolute gold. Read it, annotate it, learn from it, and share it! I intend to too.
As the theme changes from spooky to sparkles, I am jumping on this trend with a quick note today, because honestly, while everyone sharing their fabulous decorations, costumes, and pumpkins – almost all of which have a HUGE impact on the environment and carry their own horror story, there’s also a 365 day crisis in perintal care that’s far scarier than Halloween.
5 truely spooky things, going on every single day within birth, because the system is build to conveyor belt families from pregnancy through to postpartum as conveniently as possible. This is not because those working in it want to, but because that’s the way policies and systems have been built.
Scary stuff!
So, heres just 5, of the many terrifying things going on in the birth world … all year round.
The lies in antenatal care from professionals in the system – I know I said above that it’s not those working in the system, and most of the time, it isn’t. But the truth is, sometimes it is. Sometimes it is professionals ticking boxes, sometimes it’s disregarding evidence based care, sometimes it’s policy and sometimes it’s someone who’s burnt out and exhausted. But the lies come. And the ripples they create are immense.
Induction rates are incredibly high. When there’s a medical need, induction can be an incredibly useful life-saving tool, and thank goodness for that. However for the majority of women and birthing people induction is often a result of lack of confidence, misinformation, scarmongering and guidance about ‘big babies’ or being ‘overdue’. It isn’t based on the latest evidence and induction – in its various forms – ends up being the first step in a sliding scale of interventions which often perpetuate trauam for all those involved.
Lack of trauma informed, neruodivergent aware, autonomy based care is in part related to the point above: induction. However, it goes well beyond that. A lack of well rounded training and resources means that a majority of healthcare professionals, while well intentioned, often don’t have the correct language or experience to be able to support the different women and birthing people that they are seeing. The lack of neurodiverse not knowledge means that a lot of the time, families are treated in ways that cause more harm, coerce all violate their rates to autonomy. The reality of this is that once again, women, birthing people, partners and the babies involved are coming away from birthing within the system with experiences they need to heal from right at the start of this new journey together.
When we have a lack of support and we feel out of control or in danger. Physiological birth is halted, and our bodies go into shut down. This means that a majority of families are starting their journey together with this new baby, and also having to recover from the experience of pregnancy and birth.
The maternal mortality rate for non white bodies is another incredibly scary aspect of birth in not just the UK but around the Western world. The reality is that biases exist, unconscious ones often doing more harm than we realise. Although most people don’t believe themselves to be racist, these are socialised biases that have informed everything we do, so of course, it is unsurprising that we see them unfold in preintal care too.
Lastly, the bullying, coercion, and violation that women and birthing are experiencing every day. Unfortunately, almost everyone who has been through the system will have an experience where they have been treated in a less than ideal way. However, the scariest part of this is that they leave, and I, myself have done this too, grateful for the fact that they have come out not as damaged as they could be, and that their baby is there, not damaged or as damaged as could have been.
Halloween is one day. One commercialised day adulterated from ancient traditions.
The crisis in perinatal care is all year round.
If you’re planning a baby or pregnant – get informed. You and your baby deserve better than what is currently happening.
Why are we rushing for babies to come before their time?
There are cases where I get it. Baby’s need to come early, or there are actual decent reasons for opting in to control the date and way babies arrive.
As a doula, while yes I personally have had my own birth experiences, I will always advocate for you to have the experience you feel most deeply supported through.
As a critic and thinker however, I watch the numbers and listen to the stories and I do question the sanity of it all. The system pushes for babies to come before they are ready despite evidence that says babies are as active a participant in labour as mothers.
If you are scared or worried or feel unprepared, your babies gonna feel that on a vibrational level, and they’re not gonna wanna come. Eventually, they will, because nobody’s pregnant forever, but it isn’t on the readiness of both parties.
Similarly, if they’re not quite done growing those extra bits of immunity or strength or whatever it is they need, they’re not going to be sending signals to get your body moving.
It’s a dance.
You’ve both got to be ready and willing and able. And then, the journey begins.
When you force it… in an attempt to “control” labour or birth, the result is often trauma.
When you force it, the experience shifts … for both of you.
And those effects can absolutely last years or even lifetimes.
I recently launched a mothers day mini session day and met some beautiful mothers as a result. I’m just taking a moment to celebrate the win that this has been for me, and decided to share it.
I know Mothers day is for some incredibly important, for others incredibly painful, and for others something they couldn’t care less about – and all of that’s okay. I wanted to get creative, to give something that was meaningful and to celebrate mothers in whatever stage of their journey they were when we met.
Of course, it’s been timed to fit mothers day, and I wanted to make sure I got everyone their gallery beforehand, but deeper than that, it was a celebration of mothers in their every day, and that’s exactly how it felt actually.
I need to say it was an honour to meet, share and capture the wonderful mothers who came.
We went to the woods and walked and captured moments of their relationship with their beautiful tiny people. I wanted it to be natural, relaxed and away from the whole “pose for a photo” vibe that comes with a random stranger and their camera being around you.
I think there’s absolutely a place for that kind of photo, but I’m not the one to be taking it and that’s okay. I’m really grateful that I live somewhere that I can say let’s meet at “xyz” and the people who are cool with it come.
With all my heart I am so grateful this is a reality I am living where I can do this. The version of me who was hopeful, afraid and eventually gave up trying 6 years ago is part of who I am today, and without her I wouldn’t have been able to offer this, create in this way or share, but here we are.
Capturing motherhood not in a posed “smile for the camera” kind of way, but in the twinkly smiles and excited hugs kind of way.
It’s been an intense week at home and honestly I felt like I wasn’t going to show up and give a class that supported anyone.
But I paused.
Because the idea that it is my job to support anyone in class sounds well intentioned and fitting, but also feels rooted in a more complex colonial lens that says “I’m the teacher and those who come to class need something from me” – which is icky as hell!
So I decided to go.
For me.
Yes I’d committed. Yes there was the element of it being a pre-booked session… but I was ready to postpone it until I decided it was for me.
Because showing up for me was a way for me to be there messy and human, and make mistakes and laugh, without the idea that I was ‘leading a class’ anymore.
And that felt good.
And in the end, class was messy and human and I got m uddled up but laughed and shared and it was beautiful to be in a space with other humans. I listened to a couple of songs on the drive in, and I sat for a whole 3 minutes listening to some Mantras before starting.
I set intentions like every week and then as people came in I felt my body’s gratitude that I’d shown up.
Was it perfect, no? Did it mean something, absolutely.
More than that though, I got to reflect on why I wanted to cancel, and undo some of the intensely woven conditioning we have in the wellness industry about what yoga classes mean – I’m not any better or worse for teaching, but I am evolving, and that’s magick.
A few months ago I anxiously asked a friend of mine if she would be willing to do some modeling for me. As a photographer I usually capture family’s and wanted to do something different. I was worried she’d think it would be super weird or out of our friendship bounds but 20 seconds of bravery was all it took. I asked, and she, being the awesome human she is, said yes!
We set a date and shared a Pinterest board, and came up with a vision. It was new, exciting and I was honestly nervous. I knew the session was important, for both of us, and she was trusting me… and I am so glad she did.
We walked to our chosen spot, a gorgeous relatively hidden spot in the woods – we didn’t even have to leave Helensbrugh! We shared focaccia and chocolate, drank tea and spoke about life. Of course, we also took some photos (they’re coming, promise).
Our Pinterest board was very earthy. It focused on loving the body we are gifted with, and appreciating ourselves. There were some beautiful inspirations with shadow and raw, magickal fairy witch energy. Using them, and drawing into her expertise teaching yoga, here’s a snippet of what we created.
These 3 coloured ones are some of my favourite. To me they tell a beautiful story, and to my friend.
The depth of these monochrome ones gives me chills.
I thought the other day about how if I hadn’t taken those 20 seconds, I wouldn’t have had this incredible experience. 20 seconds of bravery turned into hours of creative healing. My photographer cup was filled, my friendship deepened, and now I know a cool spot to take clients who want to get creative. Wins all round.
Oh and of course I shared the gallery and cried at her feedback because it gave me allll the feels!
Do you have a thing you need 20 seconds of courage for? Go do it!
Pregnancy is a beautiful and transformative journey, but lets be honest it can also be exhausting. As your body works hard to grow and nourish your baby, there will be many a day where you might feel like a nap is the only solution. Definitely nap as much as you can if you want to, especially when its baby number 1! When you’ve got more though, napping isn’t always an option, but sometimes a bit of yoga can change the trajectory of your day immensely.
Rather than pushing through exhaustion the way society often expects and encourages us, it’s really important to listen to your body’s wisdom. Women have been growing babies forever yes, but they have also had space and time to honour the transition this brings, which unfortunately we’ve lost.
Pregnancy yoga offers a gentle way to reconnect with yourself and your baby while also providing much-needed relaxation. The right yoga postures can help ease tension, improve circulation, and support emotional well-being—all without over-exerting yourself, and they often lend themselves to getting toddlers involved too!
If you’re in Helensburgh and looking for a way to move that feels nourishing rather than draining, Im running pregnancy yoga classes locally and would love for you to join. If you’re futher away, these six pregnancy-friendly yoga postures will help you rest, restore, and bond with your little one, and you don’t even have to leave the house!
The following postures are designed to be deeply nourishing, allowing you to move in a way that feels supportive and build up some energy for you to take into life off the mat.
5 Nourishing Pregnancy Yoga Postures for When You’re Tired
1. Supported Child’s Pose (Balasana) – A Restorative Hug for You and Baby
Child’s Pose is one of the most restorative poses in yoga, gently stretching the back and hips while promoting deep relaxation. In pregnancy, a supported variation using props can help relieve pressure on the belly and lower back.
How to do it: – Kneel on your mat with your knees wider than your hips to create space for your bump. – Place a bolster or a few pillows in front of you. – Slowly fold forward, resting your chest and head on the support. – Allow your arms to drape alongside or hug the bolster for comfort. – Breathe deeply and visualize sending love and calm to your baby.
Why it helps: This posture provides a sense of safety and surrender, encouraging deep relaxation and reducing stress.
A forward fold can feel like a much-needed pause, giving your body a moment to relax while gently stretching your back and hamstrings. When you’re carrying bump all day, it’s also a chance to let the earth hold that weight a while, and for you to feel supported.
How to do it: – Sit with your legs as wide as is comfortable and extended, knees slightly bent if needed. – Place a bolster or cushion in front of you, leaving space for bump. – Inhale to lengthen your spine, then exhale as you fold forward, resting on the support. – Let your hands rest on your legs or the bolster and breathe deeply.
Why it helps: This posture encourages introspection, helping you tune in to your baby while also relieving lower back discomfort.
3. Cat-Cow Stretch (Marjaryasana-Bitilasana) – Gentle Flow for Spine and Breath
This simple movement helps to ease back pain and promotes fluidity in the spine, making it a wonderful way to gently energize your body without over-exertion.
How to do it: – Start on all fours with your wrists under shoulders and knees under hips. – Inhale, arching your back and lifting your head (Cow Pose). – Exhale, rounding your spine and tucking your chin (Cat Pose). – Move with your breath, taking it slow and steady.
Why it helps: The rhythmic motion soothes the nervous system, enhances circulation, and provides a lovely opportunity to connect with your baby.
4. Legs-Up-the-Wall Pose (Viparita Karani) – A Gentle Circulation Boost
If your feet or legs feel swollen or heavy, this is a wonderful posture to encourage blood flow and relieve fatigue.
How to do it: – Sit sideways next to a wall and gently swing your legs up. – Keep your knees slightly bent and a cushion under your hips if needed. – Rest your arms comfortably by your sides and close your eyes. – Stay for a few minutes, breathing deeply.
Why it helps: This posture helps reduce swelling in the legs, promotes relaxation, and gently supports circulation. Super effective for taking the pressure of hemeroids too.
5. Goddess Pose (Utkata Konasana) – Open Hips, Open Heart
This standing posture allows for a hip-opening stretch while strengthening the sense of deep power with you.
How to do it: – Stand comfortably with the soles of your feet apart, extend them into a wide legged squat, letting your knees drop open. – When you’re ready, as you squat down bring the hands up beside the ears, palms facing forwards. – Stand tall and take slow breaths, letting your body relax and feel the power you hold.
Why it helps: This posture encourages openness in the hips, strengthens muscles in hour legs, and provides a moment to simply be powerful with your baby.
One of the most important lessons yoga teaches us—whether pregnant or not—is to respect and honor the body’s intuition. When you’re expecting, this wisdom becomes even more vital. In many ways, this is training for when you’re parenting. Some days, you might feel full of energy and eager to move; other days, exhaustion might take over, and rest will feel like the best option. Trust that both states are valid.
Practice – on a mat, practice off a mat, come practice with me locally if you can, but ultimately, practice. It doesn’t have to look perfect or fancy, and don’t need anything fancy, just you, your beautiful growing baby and an intention for rest.
I was looking through old photos last night from a few years ago. Family, friends, photos I had taken and then just left on my laptop because life got busy.
There were hundreds of them from the first few years of Ps life. Some made me cringe as a photographer, others made me stop and think “oh my god did I really look like that!”
But the ones that had the biggest impact were the ones of P; and of me with him specifically. They made me pause and reflect how little he was, and how much our life has changed.
Then I found some of me with A before she was walking and that flooded through a whole host of different emotions! During covid they were some of the first self portraits I think I properly played with and I had forgotten about them!
Then I found photos with the kids big expressions. The faces that they still make now, just as older versions of themselves, and the little smiles or scrunched up noses they have grown out of. There’s one of P in Hermitage Park and I can see so much of each of his siblings in the way his face lights up.
I love photography that’s no secret, but to dig through pictures and find captures memories of my own little family that I had forgotten was a beautiful gift from my past self. I am grateful to her.
It’s why I think it’s so important to pause our busy lives to make time for photography. It’s also why I’m so passionate about motherhood photography (and fatherhood/parenthood) because as the person behind the camera, I see the beauty of your everyday little interactions with your kids and I want to freeze them; I want to suspend time and snap up those ordinary exchanges and wrap them up beautifully for you to hide away and open in a year or 2 or 10.
That you in the future might have forgotten how your child whispered into your ear while walking in the woods. Or how they felt up on your shoulders with their wellyboots by your chest. Or how they gifted you leaves and pinecones because to them they were beautiful treasures.
These tiny details feel so big now, but in 2, 5, 10 or 50 years, it’s the photographs that bring back the smells and sounds to your memory.
That’s why photography matters.
That’s why motherhood photography matters even more.
It isn’t for the Instagram post or Christmas card this year.
It’s for you. In the future. The you that has forgotten. The you that misses these moments. The you that wants to remember.
Supporting you from pregnancy to parenting 