When you birth your baby, you can often choose to have 2 support people with you during your labour and birth.

Sometimes you’ll only opt for the 1, or sometimes, if you’re at home, you’ll have more.

Lots of people who hire a doula already have a birth partner, whether thats a romantic partner, best friend, sister or whoever it is they want as support.

Recently, I got asked why anyone would choose have a doula as well? “It’s not like they’re alone” was one of the things that came up.

And true, sometimes, doulas support clients birthing alone. Sometimes we support whole families, with partners and kids and even pets around.

But as a doula, hiring me isn’t about tick box support.

We don’t only work in 1 specific way or not at all.

We adapt.

When you choose to work with a doula, you are booking in for someone who provides grounded, adaptable support, not just for you in the throws of labour, but also for your partner.

For partners to have a nervous system to co-regulate with. For them to have someone to look at when the nosies you make start to change. To have someone who can tag in and bring you lucozade while they nap. To be able to nod and confirm that they are also witnessing the miracle you’re living through.

You might hire a doula for the anetenatal prep and postpartum support.

You might hire them for their presence through birth.

You might hire them because you’re terrified and know your partner is not going to know what to do.

It really doesn’t matter. Whatever you choose, a doula is a support system. One that’s in your corner… not pushing an agenda.

So, why hire a doula when you already have a birth partner?

Because unless that birth partner has the equivalent of an autistic person’s special interest level of learnimg birth, you’re going to need to do a fair amount of learning along the way.

You’re baby isn’t going to get a second chance at birth… so making sure you are supported, you feel nourished, you all feel joyful… that’s the role of a doula. It isn’t about taking over from your birth partner, it’s about working with them, being a  grounding presence, and showing up, the way you ask us to.

As ever, thanks for reading,

Rohana