I’m just home from another goodbye.

This one hurt.

They all have and will in different ways… but this one has been a friendship built around me as an adult, not around my kids. It’s different. 

I said goodbye and didn’t have to hold it together for my kids, so tears are falling… and I’m letting them. We’ve spent years here, made memories, had some really hard times and some really incredible ones.

I have had my biggest mental breakdown in this house, and I’ve also literally birthed one of my children here.

I’ve had my parenting choices questioned by people I thought I could trust… and I’ve had some of the most intimate connection and wonderful support, all within these moldy, damp, magnolia walls.

And now, we’re leaving.

Part of me says good riddance. There has been so much pain … the holes in the wall are only a snapshot of that.

Another part of me looks around and sees just how much strength has been created too.

And as tears roll, I pause my writing and tap … grateful, sad, loving, overwhelmed, it all exists in this moment.

Some people come into our lives by absolute accident, and end up having the most profound impact.

There are no reasons to connect, and yet we do.

The universe deciding that we need to share and shed light with different people.

Each one of the friends I am saying goodbye to this week has been a light, not all at the same time, not all in the same way… but all there. Sharing their brightness; creating ripples that impact me and those I will meet on our new adventures.

I told this particular friend I’ve been writing… and that today, day 39 means I’m nearly done. Its been vulnerable to show up here. It’s been interesting. It’s been exciting and hard and some days I’ve wanted to give up. But now, with 1 day left, I’m not done… I need to find a new way to share and connect more regularly. I’m ready to shed a little and step into something new.

Shedding layers.

Saying goodbyes.

Starting new.

This year I didn’t make resolutions … and I didn’t choose words (not alone at least). I set intentions for the year that were bigger than that.

To deepen friendships and build new relationships.

To call in a year of intense beauty, filled with ease, joy, prosperity, love and creation.

I am living this intentions right now. They are here… in the friendships… in the beauty… in the love.

My kids probably think I get a cheat sheet because with a phone we can still stay in contact with many friends. I understand.

They didn’t choose this.

They’re saying goodbyes too.

And I’m once again grateful for the blessing and curse that technology is.

Right now, I am focusing on some more current intentions; calling in seamless transitions… and fully aware that as I set them, I am also able to celebrate how we are living in a space that intentions are always coming into reality. It’s epic.

For tonight, goodbye

With love

Rohana x