We said goodbye to friends today, and on the walk home, we had the first real wobble in a long time from P and A about our move.

They’ve been excited mostly, knowing that there is more adventure on the way.

But today, saying goodbye was hard. They both shared how sad they are to leave friends. And I really do get it.

They’ve laid down roots here… after all, A was only 11 months when we arrived. K has never known any different… and this is the longest space I’ve lived in since Gibraltar. Despite many many rough moments and months where I was desperately seeking ways to move out, we have made many beautiful memories here.

Day 37 of my writing, and it’s been the anchor I needed as we prepare to leave… giving me a space to share, reflect and honour that we all have so much going on. The last few days especially have been intense, and between writing, breathwork and my own study/reading, I’ve seen just how much I’ve expanded my capacity to really hold my kids through their feelings.

It’s not that I couldn’t before. I did. I tried. I did the best I could with the resources I had.

In the past year though, things have shifted. I can hold them closer without getting so affected. I can take things less personally (most of the time), and I am more resourced. It’s not been by magic, because my goodness I’ve done a lot of work… but this weekend I had an anchoring moment where I felt in my body just how much more I’m able to tap into reserves and replenish them. It was confirmation to keep going, even when it seems a little crazy.

Truthfully, as I write this, I’m shifting again and I can feel it. I stretched myself today, getting on my IG for a live that was interrupted and cut short by my kids… I wouldn’t have attempted it a year ago, but I know I’ll attempt it again later. I’m deeper in the birth world. Deeper in my activism, rooted in parenting and doing what I can. Deeper in my own self acceptance, and “fu*k you” attitude to those who cannot respect boundaries.

Boundaries… a buzz word! I’ll share about them later this year… but again today, I had a tangible experience of holding my own energy and not allowing someone into my energy field. Holding the boundary. This isn’t new, and it isn’t old, it just is, and the more I practice, the easier it becomes.

Between expansions and feelings, and the physical boxing of our life here… I know we are ready to move on. We are mentally boxing up too now, and waiting on H to come home. Over a year of weekending done. The next adventure awaits.

For tonight, that’s it,

I prefer writing in the mornings really.

With love,

Rohana x