2022 was a year of unfinished projects for me.

Of ideas that have not quite been birthed.

Of self love that has been a rollercoaster, constantly moving yet up and down.

As we embark into this new calendar year, I am setting intentions, letting go and giving thanks; but also embracing the truth that while yes, the Gregorian calendar tells us it is a new year; the earth is still sleeping in the northern hemisphere. We are still deep in winter, engulfed in darkness late in the morning, and early in the evening – Mother Earth is not quite ready to celebrate a new year.

Speaking to friends who’ve felt this pull inward; I actually said today, maybe it’s because we have children; so our inner compass, is reminding us that our energy is best conserved for a while longer. Reading tonight with my eldest, I thought about this some more – he, for the past 3 years now, has come alive after bedtime during the winter months, eager to learn, read, create, chat, and just be with me or his dad. I used to think that it was because he wanted to spend the time with us that he couldn’t get in the day with his younger siblings; and partly I still think this factors in, but more than, I think it’s because his body knows that there is reason to rest in the morning, to sleep in and cocoon himself in the warmth of audiobooks and blankets; but that in the evening, when ancestrally maybe there’d have been a fire lit for warmth, and stories shared in community, he is yearning for that; and he won’t sleep. It feels like his soul is waiting for that sense of hygge and sangha, and he’s exploring ways to find it at home.

I made a To-Do list, of things to do before the end of the calendar year… and I did 1 out of the 8 of them. But, my words for this year include intention and purpose – what use is it, to do things because we ‘have to’ with no joy or love in the action? I wrote a list, and between parenting and listening to my inner voice, I realised I am still wintering. Honouring my body’s cycle which I am only starting to learn after years of not menstruating; and honouring the earths cycle – because the ground beneath us, when we let ourselves be held by her; is such a guiding force.

I am choosing to let go of some anger, and angst that isn’t mine to hold.

I am choosing to let go of beliefs that surround me not feeling enough.

I am choosing to let go of the pull to control things far beyond my own thoughts and body.

And

I am thanking those parts of me that I let go; because they have journeyed here with me; and got me to this time in my life.

I am thanking the year 2022; which I started feeling weak and unable to listen to my voice; because she was being drowned out by all the pressure, to-do lists and mental load of motherhood. I am thanking the journey of love, compassion, discovery and dance I have had – with ups and downs and twirls around.

And I am thanking my life forces – my children who remind me every day of the lessons that life offers.

This year; in time with the rhythm of my body, and the rhythm of the earth, I have hopes and dreams and goals for this space – but for now; my intention is to honour myself.

To fill my cup.

To rest.

To celebrate my family; my husband, myself.

I invite you to do the same; celebrate yourself – because if you don’t, who will ? You are an amazing human after all!

Xoxo

Rohana