As far as our family goes, we don’t really celebrate very much from my own upbringing. To be honest, though my mum is Indian, my dad is English, so growing up, we had a mix of culture, but also didn’t really do much for either I guess.

Diwali though, we always celebrated.

It was a part of our rhythm; and sure enough, the diwali playlists create a sense of home and comfort for me. A physical sense of being back in the familiar, even though I have actually been trying to navigate this familiar with a totally new set of people. My 3 children have very little knowledge of my Indian heritage – and I am definitely feeling some guilt around that. Recently I’ve been talking more and want to change this … because I want them to know their history – which means I need to as well.

But also, let’s be a little realistic here… because I’m often finding that I get caught up in my brain and need to ground back down to remind myself that sometimes things need to be slower.

My kids are 4, almost 2, and 3 months … they have an immense capacity to learn AND also, they don’t care. They’ve got no idea.. and so reading a bunch or talking isn’t actually going to have an impact. Ground down. What do they need? How can I tell them a little this year, so next year we can build on it?

YouTube.

I honestly wouldn’t be without it. YouTube a 4 minute clip about Diwali… make some rangoli powder from rice… craft a little… and light a lot of candles. It’s small. It’s nothing to write home about right? Wrong. It’s enough. I tell myself. I believe it. Small actions, done with love, repeated every year… they create the rhythm. That rhythm is a sense of home.

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Today we’ve talked a little … lit the candles, done a pooja, played a lot, and in between the running of daily life for us, we’ve celebrated the lights and joy that comes on Diwlai.

It’s not been a perfect day. The house isn’t clean and I’ve barely cooked thanks to leftovers 🥰. It’s okay. It’s still wonderful and it’s still filled with life and light. It may not have been as well prepared as I’d like, but in years to come, maybe it will be.

Theo asked why we do this. And aside from the stories of Diwali… I told him that the reason why we do this; for us in our family, is to celebrate that we come from a mix of people from different parts of the world, and not to forget that there are different traditions in different places. That we may be different but that all have a light – and that light is powerful; just like the candle that brightens a dark room. We played a little with this, and enjoyed the shadows.

We spoke about the pooja, the milk, water, rice and petals. We also gave thanks to the earth and world we live in ( a nightly ritual now) and before bed, I saw him holding our Arti dish by the door and circling it just as we had done together for the pooja.

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I guess for 2021, with 3 kids under 5 and a day on my own, I am proud. I am grateful. I am blessed.

Happy Diwali 🥰