It’s the end of another long day. I’ve just curled up in my bed and though sleep beckons, I want to write. I want to share.

This morning started off like many do, with my son laying on my arm, and my husbands alarms calling him to get up for work. He gave us both a kiss, with an extra for the bump, and was off. Theo Prana woke shortly after.

Like most days this week, TP cried for daddy but soon settled at the promise of cuddles and a milk bottle. Unlike most days however, he had decided to sleep in, and once his milk was finished, he was not a happy boy. The usual fights began, take the wet nappy off, teeth brushing, finding clothes for the day etc… I was rushing around and all my boy wanted was “up, mummy up”. He has been super clingy off late, and with a sore back and growing belly, I am struggling to carry him all the time.

One by one, things got ticked off the list, we were ready, with an on-the-go breakfast banana and all our things packed for the day.  A stressful morning to say the least! 

Finally out the house, I held back tears as we walked to play group. Mum guilt hit and it wasn’t even 9am. Our late wake up meant that I hadn’t let him take his time; I had rushed his getting ready, and snapped at him when he wasn’t fast enough. I began to go through the morning in my head, and my Inner Critic (IC) told me I was doing a terrible job.

Sound familiar? 

I know I’m not the only one who has these mornings; but sometimes when they come along, it is easy to feel alone; especially when my IC tries to win out over my rational voice. It eats away at me and if I let it, it can turn a bad moment into a bad day. So I tell it to be quiet, I breath and I talk to my son. We sing songs, and we look for birds and cars and marvel at the dogs that walk past us.

The truth is that nobody is doing a bad job.

When we give to our kids the best of us, when we try and try and try every single day, it is absolutely impossible for us to be doing a terrible job. Our kids don’t think so – at least not until they are teenagers normally – so why do we?

I think it’s because we second guess everything we do as parents. With all the books and advice around, it’s easy to overthink, and to forget we have a natural instinct for this life.

Parenting is a beautiful and chaotic mess, it is filled with laughter and tears, excitement and disappointment, joy and anger. There are many things in-between and many before and after, and every single part is precious.

Savoring hard moments is over-rated yes, but feeling them, and allowing them to teach us, even if that means crying on the walk to a playgroup. It’s the kind of day I know I’ll remember.

Xoxo

R