A week ago I walked across the stage, officially graduating from the University of Portsmouth.

The past week has been filled with lots of nostalgia, a bittersweet feeling of goodbye, and a lot of gratitude. I thought that I would write and reminisce about my time at university, detailing different memories; but honestly, that’s more for my private journal than here. Instead, I want to share the best 5 things that came out of my university career.

Number 1

I got educated. I don’t mean academically, though of course that happened too; I mean I got an education that wasn’t possible living at home, in my small hometown.

I learned how to live alone, how to shop for myself, how to pay bills and how to figure out what my next meal was gonna be.

I got educated through my friends, learned about different backgrounds, and explored the labels I had given myself and other people. I have bettered myself through this education, becoming more open-minded and progressive in my thinking and lifestyle.

Number 2

I made friends. This sounds like a cliché but having had close friendships end very sadly before university, I wasn’t sure I’d actually manage to fit in. Now I have come to accept that I will never fit it, but that I can still have the most amazing friends.

I have had some rough patches and been close to people and then drifted, but I know that there are a few really great friends, who I can count on, call and who I hope to stay in contact with for many years to come.

Number 3

My Family. This is a long one, because there are a few parts, and it’s the most personal.

I) I got married. Admittedly, this isn’t a goal or reality for most university students in their early 20s but it has been my reality and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Working on my relationship with my partner has been one of the biggest challenges because being away with our son, while he worked to support us, meant that we have almost never been on the same page at the same time. I am grateful that he encourages my madness and ambition, and I look forward to actually spending time as a family soon.

II) I had a baby (I know this isn’t most people’s goal either!).

My son has taught me more than I can write here. I have learned about motherhood, about myself, about food, and babies and toddlers. I have learned that more often that not, my instinct is right. I have functioned sleep deprived and I have celebrated every small milestone he has had. I was told once that these things matter more to mums than dads but eventually they don’t matter; but I know that they do matter.

III) I began to appreciate my family (blood-family) very differently.

My relationship with my parents has evolved drastically since I left to university. I left, sad but excited to be moving away, but over the years, even before my baby arrived, I saw home in a very different light. I know that I have some of my biggest supporters in my parents and brother. My mum and I have an exceptionally close relationship, and I am incredibly close to my dad. My little brother and I don’t always see eye to eye but I cherish him dearly and I know that our relationship will grow once he leaves for university too. I see how hard it is to run a house now, and the dedication I somehow previously took for granted, and I have begun to understand what I want to make my own home like with my husband and our baby now.

Number 4

I learned my voice matters. This is a big one for me. While I have always been a vocal person within groups I know, being at university taught me that as long as I can back up my opinion, I cannot be wrong.

I am not always right, far from it, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. I have learned, and am still learning that there is literally always going to be someone who disagrees with me, but it’s not my job to please everyone.

Being at university has given me the confidence to stand up and be vocal about what I believe. And to, where reasonable, call people out on their bullshit too.

Number 5

Lastly, university has taught me to believe in myself. Another cliché I know, but it’s true! I have overcome obstacles that I never imagined facing, and I have learned that hard work really does have incredible results.

I took part in a lot of stuff at university, I made friends, I broadened my views and I swallowed some bitter pills too. I have friends who have faced incredible trauma and adversity through their university career’s, and I have others who have seemingly had life handed to them. Each journey has been different, but none less important than another. My journey let me to graduate with a 1st Class Honours in Politics and International Relations, alongside being awarded (jointly) a prize for “Student of the Year” within my faculty.

I proudly celebrated with the most important people in my life, and I had an amazing day. I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity’s I have had, and I know that there are many more experiences to learn from, both within academia and outside of it. Every single person I have met and interacted with has helped shape my future to be what it is today, and I am so thankful for that.

Thank you for the support. Thank you for the inspiration. Thank you for the opportunity.

xoxo

R