When I am stressed or in a weird head-space, I plan. Even though the reality is that my plans do not go the way they should. When I was younger, this used to really bother me, but right now, I don’t feel too bothered by my inability to accurately predict the way things will work out. I no longer plan every detail the way I used to love doing; but instead, I count down.

Having been in a long distance relationship for basically my entire relationship, I know a little something about countdowns, patience, delayed gratification and the very real prospect of plans basically ending up down the drain. Regardless, having an idea of whats going on makes me calmer, and in these past few weeks, the countdown has probably been my saviour!

I won’t sugarcoat the fact that while in some aspects of my life, I have felt like things are going well, there are others where I am struggling. In my moments of frustration or anger or sorrow, or basically anything where I need to re-centre myself, this countdown has become a tool that helps be put things into perspective.

My countdown is here:

In 6 days I hand in the assignment I’ve been working on.

In 7 days my mum gets here for a short (but very welcome) visit.

In 11 days mum will leave, and for the last time I will be alone at university with Theo Prana.

In 14 days I have a super important dissertation meeting.

In 19 days Theo Prana will be 8 months old.

And in 20 days, we say goodbye to university for a very long time.

The last one is keeping me going I swear! I am counting down the days to freedom, and seriously looking forward to leaving my university flat. In 20 days we will be all packed, and I will have moved everything I own in this flat, into my room; I will lock the door and get on a train to the airport.

Today is the 8th of March: International Women’s Day which is significant to me, because while I haven’t marched or rallied or even worn a feminist t-shirt today, I have been the best mother I can be, and I am sat here writing about my emotions and expressing myself: these are not things that have been possible for a long time, in fact they are not things that are available in many parts of the world even today. So before you keep reading, just take a moment to pause and reflect on the celebration and significance of International Women’s Day.

It is not to make men feel small, and it is not meant to be an opportunity for photos and publicity without action. Today, for me, is about being the best possible women we can be, and encouraging our friends to do the same. Guys out there, this day is for you too! To be a little kinder to yourself, and to celebrate the women in your life.

Have a lovely day everyone.

Xx

R