I know there is a stigma about co-sleeping so before you read this and judge me, I would never do anything to put my baby in harms way, and I would only ever advocate co-sleeping when free from drugs, alcohol and anything that would make it unsafe, including other children with very small babies.

From the start of my pregnancy I had looked a co-sleeping. There were so many benefits, it saved the cost of a cot and bedding, and I’m a student, I live in my room, I didn’t really want to have a huge cot in it! Don’t get me wrong, I have not held back on the baby stuff but I was definitely assessing all my options.
However… with all the benefits came all the advice and warnings against sleeping with a baby. And so, I decided against it. I went against my instincts, and like a robot mum I consented to the cot, and listened to everyone who told me that if I didn’t teach my baby to sleep on his own, I would regret it.

I promised that I would teach Theo Prana to use his cot, after all, who wants baby cuddles all night really?!

So as my pregnancy progressed my parents bought us a mini cot in Gibraltar. It was a blessing! Despite my views on co-sleeping both then and now, I am truly grateful for the first 6 weeks of sleeping in my own bed… my parents, as they almost always do, got it right.

Using the cot meant that Theo Prana got a decent amount of sleep and I could sleep awkwardly with far too many pillows as my body healed from the trauma of birth. He would wake and I would feed him, burp him settle him and then an hour or 2 later, we’d do the same. Essentially, like most new mums will know, I got very little sleep those first weeks. The little sleep I got was precious, and I didn’t have to worry about squishing my tiny human while I got it. Then we came to the UK and like I had done at home, I used a cot. My grandparents gifted us one that was initially bought for my brother to use when we visited on family holidays. We brought it to Portsmouth and it is now sat beside me as I type this, filled with toys and my baby carrier, baby clothes and I’m pretty sure a box of celebrations.

From having help 24/7, I was alone for days and weeks… with uni work and house drama. My parents, the amazing humans they are, helped a lot when they visited, but we had to deal with being alone. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy every moment I get with my son, we are alone now and it’s hard but we make the most of it. But a few months ago, it was new territory, and I was like a walking zombie.

He went into his cot after long periods of crying. He would get up to feed and then be restless as he fell asleep, kicking the cot and basically preventing me from sleeping. Slowly but surely I gave in to the sleep deprivation.

Less and less he stayed in his cot, and more and more he ended up in my bed. First it was from 5am, then 3am-ish, then 2am, 1am, 11.30, and finally I stopped bothering entirely. From around the end of November, Theo Prana has slept in my bed all night, every nignt. And I am a lot happier!

Overall, I wouldn’t go back. I love having him in my bed, and if I have to co-sleep until he’s 5 then that’s what I’ll do – there is nothing better than curling up with your baby at the end of the day.