There is of course a major debate encircling the feeding of infants – those who choose to breastfeed are often scrutinised in public for feeding (blog post on this to come at some point) while those who choose to formula feed are judged for their decision.

Personally, I don’t care how you choose to feed your baby – the important thing is that they are healthy and happy – if you decide to breastfeed, brilliant and if not, then that’s great too. At the end of the day, a happy mum generally leads to a happy baby.

That said, from the time I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed. The benefits to my baby included obviously the face that my breast-milk is tailored to him specifically, and that my body would produce exactly what he needed. However, even more so that the health benefits was the fact that formula is expensive, and the reality of bottles and sterilizing etc etc seemed too much of a hassle. My breasts are portable, which means we never run out of milk and (usually) there is very little cleaning.

My breastfeeding journey in many ways has probably been like a lot of first time mums – hard to begin with but it gets better as time goes.

The first few days when I could barely hold Theo Prana were very difficult, and of course despite me ‘demand feeding’, at such a young age, babies don’t really demand to be fed, often they fall asleep on the breast so feeding takes forever and is pretty much a constant. However, within a few weeks, Theo got good at it, and my milk supply was – thankfully – fairly abundant. Feeds went from 30 minutes down to 10 which at first worried me but he gained weight and seemed perfectly happy; he is just a baby that feeds fast.

The downside to my efficient feeder is that sometimes when he goes too fast he chokes himself on the milk, comes off my breasts and gets a free facemask! Often the milk will just keep pouring and spurt everywhere while he gathers himself and latches again – it is quite a spectacle.

Determined as I was, I had thought breastfeeding would be easy. I did not anticipate that there would be milk covered faces and stained shirts, nor did I realise that everything I own would soon smell like breast milk and pretty much everything would at some point also be covered by it. At night I am often woken up feeling cold and find that whatever feeding friendly shirt I’ve got on is soaked through because I’ve leaked… this happens when Theo is feeding too (from the other side).

Solution to leakage anyone? Breastpads right? Nope! I have tried a few different ones now but they are not my friends… and in fact they make feeding more of a hassle than they are worth. I’ve chosen to accept and embrace the milk stains instead. They have become part of the daily routine now.

Speaking of routine, once I came to uni I had hoped we would fall into some sort of one; but as any parent will know, babies don’t do that just because you want them to. Every day is different and while at first I tried the Gina Ford method it soon became clear that we were not going to be able to stick to such a pattern. Demand feeding means that if Theo wants to feed every hour some days but goes for 3 hours on other days then that’s what he does – he is taking the lead and I am trying to listen to him. At night this has meant some nights where we get between 2 – 4 hour stretches but other nights where he’s been up after 45 minutes and wanting another feed … luckily these are a little less common.

Generally he has better nights when he takes a bottle of my expressed milk, at night. He actually seems to prefer it when his bath is over and refuses to breastfeed then. The plus side to this is that my dad has been able to take him for this feed or H could when he visited which allows me a short break and someone else bonding time with baby. I count my blessings that I have the support that I do, and so even on my own with baby, I know that it’s not for very long.

Even though some days he takes 1 bottle and others he takes 2, I am continuing to express as much as possible/needed. I have at least 20oz in my uni freezer and more at home, but I am still primarily breastfeeding Theo regardless of how tiring it may be. My hope is that I will be able to breastfeed for a year if not longer but for now I count my small wins and am taking each day as it comes.

With so much going on I do find it hard to find time to write but more will come about our yoga classes, life as a student and Theo Prana’s rapid growth.

 Until the next time, I’ll sign off here.